12 down, 13 lingering and 10 to go

just like reading at Barns and Nobles.

We were going to go out for some ice cream and the sunday book fair, but it ended up raining. It was nice to rest and figure out how many tapes have been successfully digitized and how many need to be patched due to dropped frames, versus tapes that have not been digitized at all. Usually this is very frustrating, but today I am just grateful for the progress that has been made. 12 tapes have been successfully digitized. 13 tapes need to be patched and 10 need to be digitized completely. Well, that’s a start.We visited my friend at a used book shop then grabbed some ice cream at Chaman together.

Saturday

I went back and digitized some more tapes on Saturday. This is my life until I finish this step. I got a few more done successfully. After many hours of digitizing, the computer was understandably needed for office work. That was a reprieve for me. I left a few hours earlier than usual, and I needed the rest. The music itself is really great. It took even more pain to get it recorded, so I don’t want to compromise on the digitizing process. Dropped frames create noticeable breaks not only in the video, but more importantly in the audio track. So, often, I lose half an hour or more each time I try a tape that fails miserably. Yet that same tape might work another day or even in another machine..I hope.

Express card to nowhere...

I took the metro to Qalma Chowk as usual, then hopped on a rickshaw to Hafeez Center, the place to get electronics as far as computer and phone related things in Lahore. I started in the basement looking for a Mini DV head cleaner tape and an express card with Firewire ports. Yes, this is really boring nonsense, but this is what I am up to.The process is, walking from shop to shop, asking about the items I am looking for and usually spending a while to explain what those things are, followed by a quick shake of the head ‘no’ or being directed to some other shop. I went to 2 floors of the building, which is quite large and filled with shops. Without becoming disheartened by the majority of shopkeepers who just hear the name of some item that sounds odd and shake their heads and look away, I managed to get both items. I was quite tired by the time I had them, but here was something more I could try. This has been my process with pretty much every step of working on “Risalo”. I struggle and try so many options for every bit of every step of the process, until it gets done.I went back to my friends at CheckPost who have given me a spot to try and wrestle with this problem. Mansoor’s camera and one of the computers there are the only things that have worked thus far, but it is a slow process, and I don’t want to rely on that computer being available. It is for studio use so I don’t want to occupy it when it is needed for work. I don’t want these friends to regret their kindness towards me. So while one tape was digitizing on that machine, I was busy trying to get this express card with firewire ports working on my own laptop so that it could be used for digitizing. That involved reading a ton of web pages and trying everything I could think to do. It did not work on the mac and when I booted to windows, it did not work there either. There are some incompatibilities at work here. I guess I will return it.Besides that, I went to my friend Diep ji’s office and she had brought another mini DV camera for me to use. I looked through the bag of cables but the camera or battery charger cables were not there. It is ridiculous how many cables we end up accumulating due to phones and different technology almost always using unique types of plugs. What a waste. Yet no matter how many we have, that new item always uses something different.So, I had a second camera, but would need a cable. Ok. This could still be helpful. We also noticed that one of the PCs in the room had a firewire port and I could use that to digitize. That would be very helpful. I even tried another monstrous DV deck that Sohail sahib had sent over for my benefit. Unlike the last one, my test tape did not get stuck in it. It even forwarded and played, but of course no signal was going to the computer. This is what makes it so tough. There are so many steps, and you can find success at many of them, but then it often fails at some point and you waste a lot of time trying to figure it out and make it work. What choice do I have? I have to keep trying.I’ve been digitizing tapes, this week, but there has been a lot of wasted time due to some tapes skipping so much that I can’t use the footage. Ones that skip a few times here and there can still be used, as I go back and digitize an overlapping section to patch in. This is insane. That was the day.

Qing Qiiiiiiiiiiiiii

much like thanksgiving for turkeys...things won't end well for the beautiful new neighbor in our street

I woke up and for the first time in a while, I did not have a feeling of dread. Often some lingering stuff from my dreams leaves me a bit down when I wake up. There is a lot going on and I think those thoughts are wreaking havoc in my mind. Today was different. I woke with some energy and a renewed excitement to take this piece forward, even if only an inch at a time.

Still going

view from the daily qing qi ride

that sticker is awesome

the gear that somewhat works

hello again…July?

Government College, view from the metro stop

view from the daily qing qi ride

I spent the day digitizing dv tapes. 2 or 3 digitized fine, but the rest have dropped frames which means when you play them back there are clearly spots missing. It is frustrating to spend the day waiting an hour for each tape to digitize, with most of the results unusable. The music is really beautiful and I don’t want to let technical issues prevent me from showcasing it in the best way possible. Too much work has gone into it to not take the time to figure this out and make it right.I also met a puppeteer who was working on the Pakistani version of Sesame Street when that was happening. My friend Yaser also dropped by and offered his help and advice on the film. There is a lot to do and it is quite overwhelming, but if I take a step back and put the pieces together one at a time, this could be quite amazing.Afterwards, we caught up with some friends over dinner, which was a much needed break from struggling with technical issues.

The pressure is off

So, it turned out that the “client” was not the client. There were at least 3 levels of approvals, with no direction or connection in between. The pressure came off. We were just testing to see if this was something we could do. We could not. It would go to someone else if it was going to be done at all, as that was also in quesiton.The whole commercial was still being edited and drastically changed at that as it turned out. I should never have stepped into this. Finally, the pressure was off. After seeing the process, I will stay away. I will manage some other way. Earlier I had put together some courses to teach for an online university here in Lahore. They had sent me materials, then I promptly sent them revisions and put together course notes, only to have them completely drop it after I put in all that effort. That was another potential source of income to help keep things going that fell through. We were set to schedule recording dates for the lectures the following week, and then I never heard back. I think I am done with trying to earn while I am here. Let's just get this project and leave, even if I am completely broke by the end of it. I need my energy to make the best film possible, not all this other stuff.I met a Pakistani American DP who is working here in Pakistan thanks to Sohail introducing me. We got to talking about my project and some of the challenges and how he might approach such a shoot. That was nice. I will send some follow up questions and see what I can learn.Starting tomorrow I can digitize the dv tapes, thanks to Sohail and Mansoor offering me use of their computer and camera as no combination of cables, vtr or camera seemed to work with my laptop. I walked through another fire and there is a glimmer of hope on the other end, and probably a whole lot more fires.

Where are we going again?

The client came in to look at the cloud shot and offered a vastly different direction to the many I had been chasing down on previous days. I started the shot once again, virtually from scratch. Another day was spent finessing this version. It always amazes me how extra time magically appears. Do we have a week for all shots or somehow a week on this shot? Those types of things also help determine which approach will be taken to do a task. I was starting to think that volumetric 3D clouds would be the better approach, though I did not think I had adequate time to get up to speed on the tools and with the added level of complexity, there was a good chance I would be brought down by long render times (meaning you have one shot to get it right, if that) and there are so many deep layers of options and tools (meaning there are a million ways to mess up).Still, I did what I do. I pushed the whole day on the new direction, using the tools that I knew I could deliver with and handed in a new version before I left at night.

Sunday

I’d been dragging my wife through the misery of this work and public transportation in Pakistan every day. She took a break today. I feel horrible on all levels. I had suggested that it might be better for someone else to take the shot as nothing I had created seemed to be in the unclear direction that the client wanted. With quick turn around projects, it is important to make decisions to switch tasks, methods or even artists quickly to save time. That is why I pushed to knock out a version to show what I could do for this cloud shot on the very first day.Still, I was being given a chance to keep pushing, so I needed to do just that. I guess they turn off the elevator on the weekend, so I walked up 9 flights of stairs after the usual, dehumanizing metro experience. I started fresh and created several more versions based on additional suggestions. My job is to give the client what they want. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is, and I have doubts that I can provide it.This has replaced my own work and no one is happy with the results or clear on what needs to be changed or willing to get buy off on movement and positioning of the clouds before we move on to finishing the look. Another bad decision on my part. I was given this opportunity because as my project has run so long and met with such great difficulty, I clearly need to earn some to keep going.

Over and over

I spent the day redoing the shot several times. Each attempt involves recreating the many layers and reworking how they look based on each change of the camera or overall movement change. It really is necessary to have a clear idea of what you want before you start creating a more finished look. That can determine the tools and approach, but also once you know which direction you are headed, you can focus on getting there. Going the full route so many times just exausts you and makes each subsequent version that much more difficult to do. Think of it as getting a buy off on a sketch before creating an intricate painting. That is the desired workflow. In this case, I needed to provide a finished looking version each time before any conversation could happen. This is extremely stressful and time consuming. I am pouring my all into this, but without being able to get a better idea of what the client wants, I’m just redoing the shot over and over.I guess this won’t be any easier than any of the other tasks.

On a cloud

I needed to create some clouds to fly through for a shot. Visual effects is such a broad field, that it is really difficult to be ready to do everything. There are a ton of very different kinds of skills, tasks and tools. So, whenever I get freelance work, there is usually a bunch of figuring out and piecing it together.So, you look at the shot, figure out which tools are likely best for the work, time and budget, then brush up on them if needed and start working on tests to break down the possible steps to get the result you need.Now for clouds that you need to fly through, there’s the volumetric particle route in a 3D program or some simpler particles in a compositing program. Both were areas that I would need to brush up on, but the volumetric particles can take hours per frame to render, much less the time to get it working correctly, so if we only had a week to do all the visual effects for the commercial, it would not be feasible. After Effects it is then. I brushed up on some tools before coming in, then got to work, doing some tests. By the end of the day I had some tests to show and I felt pretty good that I had got it working.

Adapters and cables, this is how we make art

We head over to Hafeez Center to get a single cable to replace the cable with two adapters I was using. As usual, you walk to several shops, explain what you want, reexplain, and after a couple of minutes they tell you no, there is nothing like that in existence. Then they look away like you have disappeared. Either that, or they tell you to go down this lane, to the fourth shop from that corner and you get to repeat the process.All the while, you have to keep a look out for some indication that other shops in between might be worth asking. I found the cable at one shop where they were nice enough to listen and check for it. We took the cable to our friend’s studio and tried it, but the camera still did not show up. After testing on another machine with the same results, I took the camera and my laptop back to Hafeez Center and spent the next couple of hours in the sea of customers at that shop, waiting for a moment to get two words in. I tried two more cables, and they had no other adapters or options. None worked. I asked a few more shops, then came back with nothing.The next thing to try was to find someone who had a computer not in use with a regular firewire port and not this mac thunderbolt port. Mansoor sahib was nice enough to let me borrow his camera. Sohail sahib came out of his office and we chat for a bit. He took me downstairs to meet Zaheed sahib who runs a production company. I shared my demo reel and current project. We discussed the possibility of getting some resources and support. This would really help me quite a bit. I could work with a good DP and producer in Lahore, where I can get support, as opposed to Multan, where I would be just about on my own.I am going to try and pursue this route. I still need to get these DVs digitized, then revise the storyboards based on the timing of the music for those stories and based on my better understanding of the setup of our stage. Once I have that, I plan to visit the puppeteers, hold rehearsals which I can shoot with my own little setup, then come back to Lahore and set up the production with support here.Kristeen and I grabbed some parathas down the street and I got a call from Sohail sahib. He had some VFX work for me to do. We dropped by the studio on the way back, looked at some shots and discussed them with the client. I guess I’ll be working on a gig starting tomorrow. I better brush up on my skills.

Visit to NCA

I walked over to NCA and met with Suffi sahib. It was good to catch up. We had some special daal (daal with bits of chicken in it) and special naan (roghni naan, with sesame seeds) brought to us from Anarakali which was delicious. The VTR or DVR that came from Islamabad, for digitizing my old tech DV tapes for music in “Risalo” was missing a power cable, which had not arrived after over a week of asking for it, so I needed to figure out what was needed and get it. I managed to borrow one portion of the cable from my friends at NCA.Sitting there and having conversations or being there while others speak is certainly interesting. To hear the challenges regarding work prospects and how people are trying to build their futures outside the country is sad and interesting. There are those few who have found their spot and are pushing to leverage what is here. There are perhaps a larger number of people who love their country but having pushed through to get a good education, find themselves without the connections to get a good job here. Many of them hit a limit on their ability to grow and earn. Then they start to look outside the country. While the masses of people have no choice, but to stay here and deal with the breakdown of every aspect of society. There is hope as well, but it all depends on who you talk to. The layers of corruption and apathy are tough to break through on a daily basis, and yet I see excellent examples around me who are doing great work. The key is to make it livable here so that we stop losing many of our brightest.Afterwards I head to the bank to cash a check. As usual, I waited, then had my number called at last, only to find out the system was down. I asked if I should come back in an hour and they told me the system had been down for two days. This becomes routine after a while. That does not make the trudge in the heat, being drenched in sweat and wasting days at a time any easier, but you take the latest beating and try to muster the energy to get up the next day. I picked up the second portion of the cable I needed, then found the large light bulbs I had researched the day before. That is a pretty successful trip.Drenched in sweat, I returned home, cleaned up then setup the lights and worked on another round of video tests. The new lights helped create the larger soft light that was lacking!

What kind of bulbs?

Daily tasks of getting vegetables for food and cooking or picking up other needed things are never ending. The heat is tiring as are all the other obstacles that should not be. Beyond that, I managed to read a lot about lighting on different websites, to figure out what I should try to get. As has happened before, my research brought me full circle back to the kind of large bulb I had brought, but accidentally fried due to voltage differences.So, I needed to get those. Let’s see how many obstacles I need to get around to accomplish that.

Shalimar Gardens

Kristeen makes a new friiend.

After a breakfast of naan and chanai, my cousin picked us up and we head to Mughalpura. It is sweet to see my relatives and enjoy a nice meal together. In the afternoon, we head over to Shalimar Gardens. I’ve been here a number of times over the years, but this time there had clearly been a lot of improvements in terms of preservation and care. There are an unending number of problems in Pakistan, but to see these efforts, and places where people can come and relax is really a beautiful thing.My adventurous baaji crawled over and around all kinds of barriers to spots she wasn’t supposed to go to. It was pretty funny to see her giddily enjoying herself and showing us sections we would not have seen otherwise.In the evening we head back and met up with some new friends at Anarkali for some dinner. Somehow, even when away from my work, new leads come up and the process continues, bit by painstaking bit.

Diffuse light

softening light with Imran and Umar

I spent the day setting up a small stage and backdrop to begin testing lighting for “Risalo” again. I put all the lights on stands. Imran, Umar and Kristeen helped and we all had a discussion on what was good and what was still lacking.Most of all, we are lacking a strong key light. Each of the lights needs to be diffused or softened to reduce the prominent reflections in the puppets faces and create more beautiful lighting over all. I have a few diffusing umbrellas and we can used other cloth or paper to soften each of the lights. This of course reduces the intensity of each light as well, so I need a stronger key light. Along with jury rigging some kind of lighting, probably a halogen light, I will need to figure out a way to suspend it above the stage at an angle. Once again, it’s not a process of just picking up some gear. I will need to go to several places and research parts that can be put together.It was good to work on some more tests. Every round brings me closer to being able to work on the puppetry portion of the film.

Light stands = backdrop

chai by Umar

I’m trying to come up with a way to get the feel of some ornate pillars and doors in a design, but by only using larger flat colored shapes. I get the feeling I need to visit the cloth market, having explored this design a bit, to figure it out.We went over to Anarkali for a late lunch. It’s been very hot lately, so I’m trying to keep my errands to the evening. Afterwards, we went over to Nisbat rd, home of Lahore’s camera shops and picked up a couple of light stands. I’ll use them for the backdrop in my film. Now I just need a rod to hang the backdrop by, some velcro and adhesive and I can get on with the next step of the process with some more accurate lighting tests.At night Kristeen, Umar and Imran helped me to try out some tests using the evolving stage setup for this puppet film.

Shalmi and Nisbat

a stop at Gawal Mandi

After working on some background designs, we head over to Shalmi, the wholesale market near the old city. I heard that there were theater lights available there. We walked around and asked about lights. There were some lighting shops, but in terms of theater lights, it took a lot of explaining and then being sent off in random directions to see what was there. I think I did find the lights people were referring to, but what I needed was a backdrop. Still, it is so hard to find things and get proper directions here, that when you do end up somewhere, you might as well make a note of what they sell there for future reference.Next we walked through some crazy traffic to get to Gawal Mandi, or food street to grab a bite to eat. Nisbat rd, where the camera shops are, is right there, so we walked over and got some information about backdrop stands there. Once again, a lot of explaining, and being sent all over yielded few results. One shop had light stands, so that was an option. They had locally made ones that were almost half the price, but they did not fold down as small and seemed heavier. The Chinese ones looked like they could fit in my suitcase. I’ll have to transport all this stuff after all.We walked through this extremely creepy building with half built stairs to get to another place that made backdrops. I figured if they made them, they might have a frame to hang them from. It turned out that they make interesting pieces out of foam. They had brick walls, large wooden looking doors, all painted and carved from some kind of foam. It was pretty cool actually. They did not have the stands I needed, but showed me what they could order from a catalogue.By this point we were quite tired. The heat is brutal and it’s just really tough to get information and find things. We head back and rested. At night I discussed some of the backdrop options. It was really good to brainstorm with Umar and Imran to figure out a good solution. We think I could build the setup with the light stands which would let me lower and raise the backgrounds, some pieces of pvc pipe and velcro. Ok, I guess I will go back to Nisbat again tomorrow.

New place

Each new place I stay brings with it a new set of challenges. Where do we get filtered water, recharge the internet and phone, buy fresh vegetables, is there electricity and water etc. So the day started with exploring some of these things and picking up vegetables to cook.This neighborhood has street vendors that walk through hawking their wares. I got some vegetables from one today. Umar put the finishing touches on the second background for “Risalo”. It was amazing to see the design go from painting to a beautiful cloth piece.I’m working on some research for a palace scene. Between photo references, sketching and discussing ideas with Umar, something good should come together.

The moving rickshaw arrives

moving is so fun

Umar working on the second background.

I’ve woken up the past few days with a sort of negative feeling about the struggles, sacrifice and time involved in the puppet film I am trying to create. There are no guarantees of success and a lot of difficult tasks are on my shoulders to somehow pull off. I’m working on things in a methodical way, to prepare and build towards shooting the puppetry portions. It is a slow and challenging process. Waking up with a negative feeling doesn’t help. I imagine I’ve probably dreamt something or other and the feeling is lingering from that. I brush it aside, because your mind can do some pretty strange things and its best not to let that color your day. I see progress being made on another challenging portion of the films, with the cloth backgrounds. These positive developments are what I use to pull myself through. I’ve got to stick through this for the long haul or it is not going to happen.The time I had requested at the hostel was up. I could probably request more, but there were a few things that better suited my next tasks at my friend’s place. So, we packed up into a rickshaw and head to Imran’s. Umar had been cleaning up a room for us, so I joined him and Kristeen started cooking.Afterwards, Kristeen and I wandered the neighborhood to get some groceries. We all ate lunch together then got to work. Umar is working on the second background now. I sorted the cloth I had picked up and made bundles for the next few backgrounds. I’m thinking about what I need to try and get done in September. Forget what happens after that. What I do now will get me ready for that. One step at a time.

Weekly Landa trip

Sunday is cloth purchasing day. I spent the morning working on notes for some lectures I will be conducting. Then I took the next three background designs and made a list of colors I needed so that we can work on them this week.Kristeen and I head to the Sunday book fair. She picked up a couple of paper backs, and I found an interesting anti war children’s book and a book on lighting setups for product photography, which I felt would be helpful for my lighting experiments for the puppets. I dropped her back then took a bunch of luggage via rickshaw to our friend’s place where we will likely work from for the next month.The rickshaw driver was a friendly guy that I have ridden with a few times. As it happens from time to time, when I told him where I was going and asked how much, he just replied by saying whatever I wish. Once we got there, he helped me unload my things, then gave me some advice regarding living cheaply. It was just a friendly bit of looking out. I appreciate these simple every day conversations with people. Things can be really crazy and hectic here. At times people are rude and other times people can be very friendly. Sometimes you can connect to that side of a person by being friendly. It’s tough when you are tired and have dealt with a bunch of rude and difficult behavior and life stresses, but that’s what everyone around you is going through too.I picked up some cloth from Imran’s collection, hung out for a while, then caught a rickshaw to the Landa Bazaar. Once again, I sifted through piles of assorted cloth, looking for interesting pieces in the colors I wanted. The task was made so much easier thanks to Umar’s help the previous week. This time, I knew where to go. I started by purchasing a few smaller pieces, which were also the lowest in cost. For most colors, I don’t need a full bed sheet’s worth, but sometimes that is what you find. It is still cheaper than getting a yard or so of cloth elsewhere. I ended up getting a few pillow covers which we can open up and use for skys, some blankets and assorted pieces of cloth with interesting textures and colors. It is a little challenging as unlike in painting, I can’t quite create a color exactly as I want it. I have to figure out whether I need a cool, warm, saturated, desaturated color and see what I can find that best matches that. It is also quite cool to explore and find colors and textures that I would not have thought of.In the evening, my friend Kabir dropped by and we had some pizza. It is interesting how the pizza I have had here so far never has any marinara sauce. It was fun to catch up. I am fascinated by his work of finding and selling rare books. He knows all the spots to hunt down books. He had recently returned from a trip to Karachi with a large number of them. There’s a Shah Latif book that I have placed on his list as well. I hope it can be found eventually.