Bhatti at night

mural by my cousins

We had stayed the night with my aunt. In the morning, we visited other relatives in the neighborhood. One of my mamus (uncles) shared a bit about my great great grandfather who died young around 28 and great grandfather who lived to about 81, moved to nawabshah from Lahore and bought land there.After visiting another uncle, Kristeen and I got a ride back with my cousin Sarmad. After some rest, we visited our friend Mohsin whose eye was injured a while back. His parents were so sweet. His father; a tailor, had lived and worked all over the middle east. It was fun to see their wedding album, and the photos of their youth. There were so many fantastic photos of Mohsin’s mother dressed up in the very fashionable outfits that her husband had made for her with children in tow.

Qurbani

After another day of digitizing DV tapes, I spent the next three days editing footage. There is a lot of work to do before I can create another draft of storyboards to prepare to shoot the puppetry portions of “Risalo”.I took a break from work on Eid, to visit relatives. Kristeen and I stepped out into the narrow alley in front of our friend’s place we were staying at. There were animals waiting to be sacrificed line up and down the lane. There was a large cow, and lots of waste to the right, so we walked the opposite way to get to the next lane and walk out to the main road where my relatives had come to pick us up.The qurbani or sacrifice had already begun in the next lane. We walked past a frightened cow and through the blood of another as we made our way to the street. It is all pretty terrible, but not all that different than every day meat consumption. I mean, the only real difference is that this is in your street and you see it.We made it to the car, then spent the day in Mughalpura with relatives, good food, plenty of it vegetarian for Kristeen. In the evening we went to Guddi Khala’s for dinner. Qurbani is an annual thing here, and a lot of the meat is distributed to those in need as well as relatives. It is a huge spectacle here because it is done out in the open like this.

Random adventure

It was raining this morning. Kristeen stayed home. I grabbed the umbrella and head out after breakfast. As usual, I crossed the street and waited to flag down a passing Qing-Qi (front of a motorcycle frankensteined into a multiple passenger vehicle with a carriage in back). It is cheap at 10 cents and gets me to the main road where I can hop on the metro bus (20 cents) to get the rest of the way to the office.The day began with a sense of stress regarding finishing this project and financially making it back to LA and beginning all over again. Out in the rain, I let go of that feeling, as I watched vehicles go past. A few Qing-Qis passed, but they were all full. A young guy on a motorbike pulled up. He saw me holding my umbrella, waiting. He asked where I was going and I said to the main road. So I hopped on and shielded the two of us with the umbrella. It turned out that he was going to Model Town. My final destination, Kalma Chowk was on the way so instead of hopping off at the metro we kept going. We took the same route that the metro bus does, but the bus is several stories above the street on its own platform. Today, in the rain, I got to see the view from below. It was a lot of fun zipping around traffic in the rain. We chat a bit on the way and eventually I reached the chowk and hopped off. That little happenstance changed my mood and the day was good again.I walked the rest of the way with my umbrella, which I had tucked away 15 minutes into the ride when I could no longer hold it as we picked up speed. Sometimes it is fun to slow down and look around. Todays task would not be easy. I needed to deal with the most difficult mini dv tapes that were dropping frames like crazy and those that had some sections that needed to be patched in by digitizing again. I counted 23 tapes successfully completed last night, with a good number close to finishing and just a few undigitized at all. I’m getting there, thanks to friends at CheckPost who have opened their doors and facilities to me.When I got home, Kristeen and Umar had made some pasta with homemade sauce. Now that is a great day. Why does Umar have a biker light on his head? There's no light in the kitchen of course...

Digitizing tapes, but here's a "New" Anarkali Bazaar

Digitizing tapes, but here's a "New" Anarkali Bazaar. It's not new, more like, less ancient than the rest of Anarkali.

12 down, 13 lingering and 10 to go

just like reading at Barns and Nobles.

We were going to go out for some ice cream and the sunday book fair, but it ended up raining. It was nice to rest and figure out how many tapes have been successfully digitized and how many need to be patched due to dropped frames, versus tapes that have not been digitized at all. Usually this is very frustrating, but today I am just grateful for the progress that has been made. 12 tapes have been successfully digitized. 13 tapes need to be patched and 10 need to be digitized completely. Well, that’s a start.We visited my friend at a used book shop then grabbed some ice cream at Chaman together.

Saturday

I went back and digitized some more tapes on Saturday. This is my life until I finish this step. I got a few more done successfully. After many hours of digitizing, the computer was understandably needed for office work. That was a reprieve for me. I left a few hours earlier than usual, and I needed the rest. The music itself is really great. It took even more pain to get it recorded, so I don’t want to compromise on the digitizing process. Dropped frames create noticeable breaks not only in the video, but more importantly in the audio track. So, often, I lose half an hour or more each time I try a tape that fails miserably. Yet that same tape might work another day or even in another machine..I hope.

Express card to nowhere...

I took the metro to Qalma Chowk as usual, then hopped on a rickshaw to Hafeez Center, the place to get electronics as far as computer and phone related things in Lahore. I started in the basement looking for a Mini DV head cleaner tape and an express card with Firewire ports. Yes, this is really boring nonsense, but this is what I am up to.The process is, walking from shop to shop, asking about the items I am looking for and usually spending a while to explain what those things are, followed by a quick shake of the head ‘no’ or being directed to some other shop. I went to 2 floors of the building, which is quite large and filled with shops. Without becoming disheartened by the majority of shopkeepers who just hear the name of some item that sounds odd and shake their heads and look away, I managed to get both items. I was quite tired by the time I had them, but here was something more I could try. This has been my process with pretty much every step of working on “Risalo”. I struggle and try so many options for every bit of every step of the process, until it gets done.I went back to my friends at CheckPost who have given me a spot to try and wrestle with this problem. Mansoor’s camera and one of the computers there are the only things that have worked thus far, but it is a slow process, and I don’t want to rely on that computer being available. It is for studio use so I don’t want to occupy it when it is needed for work. I don’t want these friends to regret their kindness towards me. So while one tape was digitizing on that machine, I was busy trying to get this express card with firewire ports working on my own laptop so that it could be used for digitizing. That involved reading a ton of web pages and trying everything I could think to do. It did not work on the mac and when I booted to windows, it did not work there either. There are some incompatibilities at work here. I guess I will return it.Besides that, I went to my friend Diep ji’s office and she had brought another mini DV camera for me to use. I looked through the bag of cables but the camera or battery charger cables were not there. It is ridiculous how many cables we end up accumulating due to phones and different technology almost always using unique types of plugs. What a waste. Yet no matter how many we have, that new item always uses something different.So, I had a second camera, but would need a cable. Ok. This could still be helpful. We also noticed that one of the PCs in the room had a firewire port and I could use that to digitize. That would be very helpful. I even tried another monstrous DV deck that Sohail sahib had sent over for my benefit. Unlike the last one, my test tape did not get stuck in it. It even forwarded and played, but of course no signal was going to the computer. This is what makes it so tough. There are so many steps, and you can find success at many of them, but then it often fails at some point and you waste a lot of time trying to figure it out and make it work. What choice do I have? I have to keep trying.I’ve been digitizing tapes, this week, but there has been a lot of wasted time due to some tapes skipping so much that I can’t use the footage. Ones that skip a few times here and there can still be used, as I go back and digitize an overlapping section to patch in. This is insane. That was the day.

Qing Qiiiiiiiiiiiiii

much like thanksgiving for turkeys...things won't end well for the beautiful new neighbor in our street

I woke up and for the first time in a while, I did not have a feeling of dread. Often some lingering stuff from my dreams leaves me a bit down when I wake up. There is a lot going on and I think those thoughts are wreaking havoc in my mind. Today was different. I woke with some energy and a renewed excitement to take this piece forward, even if only an inch at a time.

Still going

view from the daily qing qi ride

that sticker is awesome

the gear that somewhat works

hello again…July?

Government College, view from the metro stop

view from the daily qing qi ride

I spent the day digitizing dv tapes. 2 or 3 digitized fine, but the rest have dropped frames which means when you play them back there are clearly spots missing. It is frustrating to spend the day waiting an hour for each tape to digitize, with most of the results unusable. The music is really beautiful and I don’t want to let technical issues prevent me from showcasing it in the best way possible. Too much work has gone into it to not take the time to figure this out and make it right.I also met a puppeteer who was working on the Pakistani version of Sesame Street when that was happening. My friend Yaser also dropped by and offered his help and advice on the film. There is a lot to do and it is quite overwhelming, but if I take a step back and put the pieces together one at a time, this could be quite amazing.Afterwards, we caught up with some friends over dinner, which was a much needed break from struggling with technical issues.

The pressure is off

So, it turned out that the “client” was not the client. There were at least 3 levels of approvals, with no direction or connection in between. The pressure came off. We were just testing to see if this was something we could do. We could not. It would go to someone else if it was going to be done at all, as that was also in quesiton.The whole commercial was still being edited and drastically changed at that as it turned out. I should never have stepped into this. Finally, the pressure was off. After seeing the process, I will stay away. I will manage some other way. Earlier I had put together some courses to teach for an online university here in Lahore. They had sent me materials, then I promptly sent them revisions and put together course notes, only to have them completely drop it after I put in all that effort. That was another potential source of income to help keep things going that fell through. We were set to schedule recording dates for the lectures the following week, and then I never heard back. I think I am done with trying to earn while I am here. Let's just get this project and leave, even if I am completely broke by the end of it. I need my energy to make the best film possible, not all this other stuff.I met a Pakistani American DP who is working here in Pakistan thanks to Sohail introducing me. We got to talking about my project and some of the challenges and how he might approach such a shoot. That was nice. I will send some follow up questions and see what I can learn.Starting tomorrow I can digitize the dv tapes, thanks to Sohail and Mansoor offering me use of their computer and camera as no combination of cables, vtr or camera seemed to work with my laptop. I walked through another fire and there is a glimmer of hope on the other end, and probably a whole lot more fires.

Where are we going again?

The client came in to look at the cloud shot and offered a vastly different direction to the many I had been chasing down on previous days. I started the shot once again, virtually from scratch. Another day was spent finessing this version. It always amazes me how extra time magically appears. Do we have a week for all shots or somehow a week on this shot? Those types of things also help determine which approach will be taken to do a task. I was starting to think that volumetric 3D clouds would be the better approach, though I did not think I had adequate time to get up to speed on the tools and with the added level of complexity, there was a good chance I would be brought down by long render times (meaning you have one shot to get it right, if that) and there are so many deep layers of options and tools (meaning there are a million ways to mess up).Still, I did what I do. I pushed the whole day on the new direction, using the tools that I knew I could deliver with and handed in a new version before I left at night.

Sunday

I’d been dragging my wife through the misery of this work and public transportation in Pakistan every day. She took a break today. I feel horrible on all levels. I had suggested that it might be better for someone else to take the shot as nothing I had created seemed to be in the unclear direction that the client wanted. With quick turn around projects, it is important to make decisions to switch tasks, methods or even artists quickly to save time. That is why I pushed to knock out a version to show what I could do for this cloud shot on the very first day.Still, I was being given a chance to keep pushing, so I needed to do just that. I guess they turn off the elevator on the weekend, so I walked up 9 flights of stairs after the usual, dehumanizing metro experience. I started fresh and created several more versions based on additional suggestions. My job is to give the client what they want. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is, and I have doubts that I can provide it.This has replaced my own work and no one is happy with the results or clear on what needs to be changed or willing to get buy off on movement and positioning of the clouds before we move on to finishing the look. Another bad decision on my part. I was given this opportunity because as my project has run so long and met with such great difficulty, I clearly need to earn some to keep going.

Over and over

I spent the day redoing the shot several times. Each attempt involves recreating the many layers and reworking how they look based on each change of the camera or overall movement change. It really is necessary to have a clear idea of what you want before you start creating a more finished look. That can determine the tools and approach, but also once you know which direction you are headed, you can focus on getting there. Going the full route so many times just exausts you and makes each subsequent version that much more difficult to do. Think of it as getting a buy off on a sketch before creating an intricate painting. That is the desired workflow. In this case, I needed to provide a finished looking version each time before any conversation could happen. This is extremely stressful and time consuming. I am pouring my all into this, but without being able to get a better idea of what the client wants, I’m just redoing the shot over and over.I guess this won’t be any easier than any of the other tasks.

On a cloud

I needed to create some clouds to fly through for a shot. Visual effects is such a broad field, that it is really difficult to be ready to do everything. There are a ton of very different kinds of skills, tasks and tools. So, whenever I get freelance work, there is usually a bunch of figuring out and piecing it together.So, you look at the shot, figure out which tools are likely best for the work, time and budget, then brush up on them if needed and start working on tests to break down the possible steps to get the result you need.Now for clouds that you need to fly through, there’s the volumetric particle route in a 3D program or some simpler particles in a compositing program. Both were areas that I would need to brush up on, but the volumetric particles can take hours per frame to render, much less the time to get it working correctly, so if we only had a week to do all the visual effects for the commercial, it would not be feasible. After Effects it is then. I brushed up on some tools before coming in, then got to work, doing some tests. By the end of the day I had some tests to show and I felt pretty good that I had got it working.

Adapters and cables, this is how we make art

We head over to Hafeez Center to get a single cable to replace the cable with two adapters I was using. As usual, you walk to several shops, explain what you want, reexplain, and after a couple of minutes they tell you no, there is nothing like that in existence. Then they look away like you have disappeared. Either that, or they tell you to go down this lane, to the fourth shop from that corner and you get to repeat the process.All the while, you have to keep a look out for some indication that other shops in between might be worth asking. I found the cable at one shop where they were nice enough to listen and check for it. We took the cable to our friend’s studio and tried it, but the camera still did not show up. After testing on another machine with the same results, I took the camera and my laptop back to Hafeez Center and spent the next couple of hours in the sea of customers at that shop, waiting for a moment to get two words in. I tried two more cables, and they had no other adapters or options. None worked. I asked a few more shops, then came back with nothing.The next thing to try was to find someone who had a computer not in use with a regular firewire port and not this mac thunderbolt port. Mansoor sahib was nice enough to let me borrow his camera. Sohail sahib came out of his office and we chat for a bit. He took me downstairs to meet Zaheed sahib who runs a production company. I shared my demo reel and current project. We discussed the possibility of getting some resources and support. This would really help me quite a bit. I could work with a good DP and producer in Lahore, where I can get support, as opposed to Multan, where I would be just about on my own.I am going to try and pursue this route. I still need to get these DVs digitized, then revise the storyboards based on the timing of the music for those stories and based on my better understanding of the setup of our stage. Once I have that, I plan to visit the puppeteers, hold rehearsals which I can shoot with my own little setup, then come back to Lahore and set up the production with support here.Kristeen and I grabbed some parathas down the street and I got a call from Sohail sahib. He had some VFX work for me to do. We dropped by the studio on the way back, looked at some shots and discussed them with the client. I guess I’ll be working on a gig starting tomorrow. I better brush up on my skills.

Yum, dv tapes...

We hopped on the crowded metro and head to CheckPost, where Sohail sahib had a DVR sent from Islamabad. I had the power cables I needed, so we were going to test it. Mansoor sahib helped me out as we tried to get the DVR going. I had a test tape that I had already successfully digitized. After hours of trying, we ended up learning a few things. The DVR, like many I have seen, is long past usage. The tape got stuck in it.Mansoor sahib took the trouble of going all the way home and picking up his own DV camera to bring in and test. It works great, but not with my cables. This means there is additionally an issue with the multiple adapter, jury rigged firewire cable setup I have too or my laptop. That little frankenstein of a cable setup had got me through digitizing several tapes in Jamshoro, but after a while, one DVR stopped working, another camera just kept skipping and a DVR at Sindhology would not show up in the software. So part of the problem ends up being the cable or adapters. There are so many things that can and do go wrong. I am extremely grateful for this cable, for it allowed me to digitize enough material to get my entire workflow going. As with most steps in the process of this film, each bit only gets me so far, before I have to start over again.So, we head to Hafeez Center, only to find it was closed due to an ongoing strike against a government tax on all transactions. Once again, we face the norm of Pakistan, that all small steps hit huge obstacles. So, we head back, hung out for a bit, then took the metro back. It is tough to go out in the heat in qing qis, rickshaws and the extremely packed metro and to then hit so many obstacles that it becomes exhausting to think about how to keep my mind focused on making progress and being relatively ok with the way things are going so I can push forth the next day. I am grateful to all these kind people who do their bit to help me at each ridiculous step of the way.It is quite humbling to sit at a nice studio and see people color timing footage shot with professional crews on equipment and budgets that I can’t even fathom. I glance back at my 7 year old computer and the limitations of my gear, inexperience as a live action cinematographer, and the way I have completely disconnected from that “sophisticated” world of huge productions with impeccable (at least technically) work and resources. Here I struggle equally to get the daily groceries, as I do to find a particular cable or figure out a piece of software, an artistic challenge or all manner of other logistics. I am reminded at how ridiculously small this production is and just how much of a miracle it will be to pull this off.I had spent some time looking at test footage I shot with the lights. Each time I learn new things and make notes on what to try next. Now that I have enough light and a good raw video workflow, I can push things further. I shot some more tests, focusing on two lenses and alternating between shooting raw and in the default compressed form. As I tinker with Davinci Resolve, I find that there are all kinds of tools that don’t show up because of the low screen resolution of my laptop. I find this out as I look at various tutorials and see buttons that don’t show up on my screen. Though I can’t resize these windows, I have figured out 3 or so things to do to get those buttons.I took my test footage from tonight and began figuring out some more fine tuning controls as I have “discovered” these additional buttons in Davinci Resolve. These results are quite promising, for using an entry level DSLR camera. I have a bunch more to experiment and figure out, but the footage and my ability to control it are getting better with each test.

Visit to NCA

I walked over to NCA and met with Suffi sahib. It was good to catch up. We had some special daal (daal with bits of chicken in it) and special naan (roghni naan, with sesame seeds) brought to us from Anarakali which was delicious. The VTR or DVR that came from Islamabad, for digitizing my old tech DV tapes for music in “Risalo” was missing a power cable, which had not arrived after over a week of asking for it, so I needed to figure out what was needed and get it. I managed to borrow one portion of the cable from my friends at NCA.Sitting there and having conversations or being there while others speak is certainly interesting. To hear the challenges regarding work prospects and how people are trying to build their futures outside the country is sad and interesting. There are those few who have found their spot and are pushing to leverage what is here. There are perhaps a larger number of people who love their country but having pushed through to get a good education, find themselves without the connections to get a good job here. Many of them hit a limit on their ability to grow and earn. Then they start to look outside the country. While the masses of people have no choice, but to stay here and deal with the breakdown of every aspect of society. There is hope as well, but it all depends on who you talk to. The layers of corruption and apathy are tough to break through on a daily basis, and yet I see excellent examples around me who are doing great work. The key is to make it livable here so that we stop losing many of our brightest.Afterwards I head to the bank to cash a check. As usual, I waited, then had my number called at last, only to find out the system was down. I asked if I should come back in an hour and they told me the system had been down for two days. This becomes routine after a while. That does not make the trudge in the heat, being drenched in sweat and wasting days at a time any easier, but you take the latest beating and try to muster the energy to get up the next day. I picked up the second portion of the cable I needed, then found the large light bulbs I had researched the day before. That is a pretty successful trip.Drenched in sweat, I returned home, cleaned up then setup the lights and worked on another round of video tests. The new lights helped create the larger soft light that was lacking!

What kind of bulbs?

Daily tasks of getting vegetables for food and cooking or picking up other needed things are never ending. The heat is tiring as are all the other obstacles that should not be. Beyond that, I managed to read a lot about lighting on different websites, to figure out what I should try to get. As has happened before, my research brought me full circle back to the kind of large bulb I had brought, but accidentally fried due to voltage differences.So, I needed to get those. Let’s see how many obstacles I need to get around to accomplish that.

Shalimar Gardens

Kristeen makes a new friiend.

After a breakfast of naan and chanai, my cousin picked us up and we head to Mughalpura. It is sweet to see my relatives and enjoy a nice meal together. In the afternoon, we head over to Shalimar Gardens. I’ve been here a number of times over the years, but this time there had clearly been a lot of improvements in terms of preservation and care. There are an unending number of problems in Pakistan, but to see these efforts, and places where people can come and relax is really a beautiful thing.My adventurous baaji crawled over and around all kinds of barriers to spots she wasn’t supposed to go to. It was pretty funny to see her giddily enjoying herself and showing us sections we would not have seen otherwise.In the evening we head back and met up with some new friends at Anarkali for some dinner. Somehow, even when away from my work, new leads come up and the process continues, bit by painstaking bit.

Diffuse light

softening light with Imran and Umar

I spent the day setting up a small stage and backdrop to begin testing lighting for “Risalo” again. I put all the lights on stands. Imran, Umar and Kristeen helped and we all had a discussion on what was good and what was still lacking.Most of all, we are lacking a strong key light. Each of the lights needs to be diffused or softened to reduce the prominent reflections in the puppets faces and create more beautiful lighting over all. I have a few diffusing umbrellas and we can used other cloth or paper to soften each of the lights. This of course reduces the intensity of each light as well, so I need a stronger key light. Along with jury rigging some kind of lighting, probably a halogen light, I will need to figure out a way to suspend it above the stage at an angle. Once again, it’s not a process of just picking up some gear. I will need to go to several places and research parts that can be put together.It was good to work on some more tests. Every round brings me closer to being able to work on the puppetry portion of the film.