Air conditioned bubble

At Sindhology, I digitized the last tape from the recording session we had last week. I took it back to my room and started organizing the pieces and checking to see if everything that should be there was. All of this took me into the afternoon, where I realized I was missing about 40 minutes of footage from one of the cameras. I would need to go back to Sindhology to use their DV deck to play the tape and see if the video is on there and did not record to the computer for some reason, or if there was a technical issue during the session. I’m guessing and hoping that I just messed up while digitizing, but I will need to wait a day to to find out.In the evening my friend Saqib dropped by and later I went to Hyderabad with Najib sahib. That was actually really nice. We both needed to get out for a bit. He drove us into town. I had some really good rasmallai and a chocolate shake. More than that, it was almost a surreal experience to sit so comfortably in an air conditioned car. It really hits home how big a divide there is between the experiences of people in nice cars and suvs, versus those on public transport or even motorcycles. It felt unbelievably luxurious to be in a comfortable car with air conditioning. I looked out the windows and saw the same world I had been coming to day after day, but I felt so removed from the pain and discomfort of it. When we passed the horrible sewage canal in Qasimabad, as I have so many times, I was in a fully enclosed car. I did not have to turn my head away from the sewage and hold my breath. I did not have the same courting with death at each turn feeling. I did not feel the heat, the dirt and the stench of being outside. I saw all of that, but I was not a part of it. It probably seems really silly, but it really was that shocking compared to what I have become somewhat accustomed to.Seeing people suffering from behind windows in an air conditioned car really removed me from most of the challenges that people face. On top of that, I was not driving either. That is the experience of wealthy people in Pakistan and certainly of politicians. They don’t experience so much of what their constituents go through. When you never have to smell the stench of the open sewers, why would you care about fixing them? When you don’t experience the pain of living as most people do, how can you represent them and work to improve their conditions?Honestly, I don’t want to experience all of this misery. It is really tough and I don’t have it as bad as most of the folks out there by a long shot. It reminded me that regardless of how difficult I feel that this work is, I really need to do it. As an artist, making a film that humanizes Pakistanis by showcasing our art, culture and beauty while supporting artists here through new collaborations is an important contribution. It is how I can use my specific skills to try and play a small part in contributing. I don’t want to live like this for even a moment. There is no romanticizing how uncomfortable and challenging it is to even taste what it is like for people here every day. I want to stay in the air conditioned car. I don’t want to smell the sewage, but I will try to add my positive bit to all of this.

Day of rambling

Not much to do. I’m waiting, so I might as well be productive. I head on over to Khan Academy’s website and started working on some programming tutorials. After all, I’ll need a job after this…adventure.Wow, I spent the whole day working on Javascript tutorials on Khan Academy and Python tutorials on Code Academy. A comfortable room and nothing else to do can do wonders to focus the mind. In addition, it is interesting to see the conversations people are having on facebook regarding the US Supreme Court’s decision to rule in favor of Gay marriage rights in all 50 states. I get to see the conversation going on here in Pakistan as well as in other parts of the world. I certainly see some folks who are bigoted, or resentful from some religious sentiment, but what I also see are people from right here in Pakistan questioning and debating that narrative. There are days when things can seem very bleak and hopeless, but this debate would not have been possible before social media. Exposure to different points of view is an essential thing. I read about a ruling in favor of LGBTQ rights in Lebanon, based on a case that was against a transgender woman.Why does any of this matter? Even if for some reason you lack the ability to appreciate the humanity in those you feel are different from you, it is these movements in support of human rights that allow Muslims and all others to practice their faith, have places of worship and have recourse against discrimination in countries that have protections for minorities. No one cares about your personal like or dislike or the religious "reasoning" behind your disagreement. If all these different movements had not struggled for their and your rights, you probably would not have your rights protected in any of these places either. Even the most selfish fool should be able to appreciate that. There's still a lot of inequality and hatred to fight, but these laws help strengthen basic protections for all people.I spent the evening chatting with Najib sahib. I read a fantastic Urdu short story he recommended by a contemporary writer named Mumtaz Hussain. I felt it had the same depth of thought and beauty of language as the excellent short stories I have read by some of the most respected Urdu writers of past generations. There are thoughts and feelings explored in these stories that would surprise many, and bring a great deal of nuance to people’s perceptions of the types of social movements that exist and have existed here. For me, these books are where the real treasures are to be found.

Energy conservation

dorm windows

Sachal says

Nothing much to do. I sat reading, and waiting for the day to go by. Saqib came by in the evening and I helped setup some web stuff for him, which was a welcome bit of trying to be useful.Having hit so many obstacles, I need to refocus and conserve my energy by not believing anything people say. It is quite silly, but I have to be more careful about going through the trouble of following up on all these leads. I am getting towards the finish of tasks here in Jamshoro. I just need to get these last few music sessions set when the musicians are ready and available and then head out. These are big tasks.I already reduced my travel to conserve energy, because this process I guess is a bit like a marathon. If I use up all my energy now, I won’t be able to make it through the puppetry portion of things. At least thanks to Najib sahib, I have an air conditioned spot to sleep at night. It really helps.

Visit to Azeemi Studios

Another night in air conditioned bliss. I head out in the morning to get breakfast at the hostel. No one was around. I checked in with a friend at Sindhology and he was there with the cable I needed to digitize my tapes. It being Friday, Sindhology would close even earlier than usual, so I needed to book it over there if I wanted to digitize these tapes and have something to work on this weekend.I got there and as often happens, there is no movement. Something is being waited for, but I don’t know exactly what. I got the cable and after a few minutes, went next door and just picked up the DV VTR and brought it over to the archive room where I plugged it all in and started digitizing. Once a tape is started, there’s nothing to really do. You just wait as the entire hour long tape plays through at regular speed. I sat around, chatted with folks and waited. Some good news was that the staff were interested in staying later for my recording sessions. I would pay overtime as per rules, but that was perfectly fine by me. I feel like brick walls stand in the way and then they vanish, only to reappear a step further during this process. For some reason, I am assured that something is impossible, encouraged to explore other paths which takes a great deal of time and effort and ultimately leads to other dead ends, before what was impossible the day before becomes…possible. Sigh. I still make sure to follow up on all leads, because it takes every bit to get the smallest task done, so you never know which lead will become that small bit that helps you get there.I had one tape left to digitize, but at 11:15am, there were only 15 minutes left before Sindhology closed. One of the friends there who brought the cable to me suggested that I could borrow his dv cam. I would need to come by Qasimabad in the evening to pick it up. While it is a bit of time and effort to do that for me, it could save me two days of staring at the ceiling in which I could begin editing.After Sindhology, I returned to the hostel and rested. Towards evening my friend Saqib dropped by and we went to visit the recording studio past Mehboob Ali Shah sahib’s place. We got to Azeemi studios. I spoke to a couple of family members of the studio owner, then met the owner and we sat in the lobby of the studio. The studio was locked. The electricity was out due to load shedding. We sat and chatted. Once again, as on the phone the previous night, I clearly explained what I needed. I had several groups of musicians who needed to be miked separate as they performed together, with each mic recording to a separate track. No mixing or editing on their part. I just wanted this recording, along with video of the musicians as they played.People love to talk themselves up., We sat for what felt like an hour and half, listening to how great they were and how primitive the setup at Sindhology was. I don’t care how great someone thinks they are. Show me the work and let’s talk about that, but I felt like I should at least look at one recording studio to see what they had to offer.On and on it went. Some of it clearly nonsense. We record the American way. We use software that is registered and you can’t even get it in the market. Yes, none of this had anything to do with what I needed, but really it is about wowing me with your greatness. At one point, the younger, technical genius talked about how he had worked for a non profit, receiving British Council funding. He was overjoyed at how they had pulled one over on them by documenting fake projects and winning awards for this. Yes, pride in dishonesty helps ingratiate one to potential customers. Sure, he wasn’t the one that made that system, but he sure was proud.I have seen a few examples of this. While the organizations involved are the most to blame, I do think that the folks giving them funding, particularly US and British governments should, if they truly care about benefitting the country and not just looking good on paper, hold the recipients of their funding, and my tax money to account. Who gives large sums of money and then does not care how it is spent? By supporting corrupt people within a country, you make me question your honesty in wishing to benefit people here. There are honest people doing fantastic work. They often don’t have the academic or English skills to apply for grants. Why is it in English anyway? So elite thieves can take advantage of it?Anyway, this stuff makes me pretty angry, but I did not bother sharing with this fool. We tried to get up and go several times, but they insisted that the electricity was coming back in mere moments. Finally it returned and we checked out the studio. It had shiny mixing boards with colorful lights and a dark, claustrophobic row of sound booths. It seemed a better choice for recording completely separate vocals, but not for what I was doing. We would not even be able to record the video in such a cramped space. They kept talking about how they could mix things as I wanted as well. I explained that I don’t like the style of mixing there. It dulls the sounds of instruments, in essence, mashes them down and adds really ugly echos to the vocals. They played some unreleased tracks that should remain thus.As we finished up, I asked how much they charged, and suddenly they back pedaled that perhaps Sindhology was a better choice for what I needed. I guess I blew one too many holes in their pitch. We thanked them, then head to Qasimabad, hoping we would have better luck with the camera.We got there, then waited another hour for the guy we were meeting. Finally, his friend calls for me to meet him at his studio. I walk over as Saqib is waiting on some food we ordered at a restaurant there. I met the friend. They do wedding videos. He showed me steadicam shots and other fancy things. He asked if I brought the tapes to digitize. I had not. I was here to borrow the camera. It would take hours to digitize and I don’t want to digitize to a pc in AVI format, then convert that to quicktime which would take several more hours. Somehow the plan changed at the last second.So I called the initial friend who had told me to pick up his camera and he said he would come by. He came by with the camera, but needed the cable. He had told me that the cable was not available anywhere, then he said that it is available at one market in Hyderabad. It had been almost 5 hours of running around in circles first at the recording studio and now here. I felt bad for leaving Saqib at the restaurant and this was all a waste of time. I thanked them and asked that he just bring the cable on monday to Sindhology. I would just waste another two days.Saqib and I ate, then head back to Jamshoro. I’m going to need to change my belief in what people say. It has lead me on too many wild goose chases to confirm misinformation and waste loads of time and effort which is demoralizing and leads to nothing productive. I have some more resources that I will focus on. They just are not available at the moment. Thus, I wait.

Everyone would do it smarter than you

I woke up after actually sleeping through the whole night for the first time in a while. I washed up, rested a while, then head back to the hostel for breakfast. From there I checked in with Zulfikar sahib at Sindhology. I needed to basically get the footage from the recording session with Jamaluddin Faqir sahib off the DV tapes and into my computer so I could begin the laborious process of editing and mixing.For that, I needed to use their DV deck hooked up to my computer. I took the usual 15 minute stroll through Jamshoro’s oven to get to Sindhology. It’s a grueling walk each time and I am covered in sweat even though it is not that far. I spent several hours there, waiting, finding out I needed another cable, learning that I could not use the computer there because the staff members don’t play well together, and then, empty handed returned home with the promise of being able to do so the next day with the proper cable.I was told that the radio station had a good multitrack recording setup which would make my life easier and that I would not have the 3 hours of actual time to record that I had in Sindhology. Having been to the radio station several times, I mentioned that they just have the one mic in the middle and record all the musicians in a circle around it. I really needed multiple tracks that I could adjust the mix with. They assured me that they had a very good system and would be happy to help me with a project related to Shah Latif. I was also told various other mistakes I had made. I should have assembled a solid team before I came. I should have brought in a whole video crew. I should have recorded it all myself.With a contact there, I called a few times with no response. Then I got an sms asking what I wanted. After taking far too much time to send a whole bunch of sms, (text messages), I explained. After another half hour I called and was welcomed with open arms to record at the studio, but sure enough it was as I said, just the one mic. So…as usual, I spent several hours to achieve nothing, except to be postponed for another day or more with incorrect information and no real options. This city is really testing me. I need some other recording options, because I won’t be able to record the longer chapters in the short amount of time afforded at Sindhology.

You wanted this

I sat updating my blog. My wife is going to Rajasthan to get some puppets, so I did some coordinating with Rajesh, the puppeteer in Udaipur, Rajasthan from whom I plan to purchase more background characters for “Risalo”.I feel grateful for the recording session yesterday, after a ridiculous number of challenges. I got to thinking about a few things. The previous morning, Saeed Mangi sahib at Sindhology had remarked that what I was dealing with here was by my own choice, I think as in because I was doing this project. My reply was that it was not entirely my choice, but he insisted several times that it was my choice and that was all there was to it. I left it at that, as I really needed my brain focused on working with the musicians.There are various assumptions that we all make about each other I suppose. We decide on certain hard and fast rules and that is it. Certainly, I made a decision to create this puppet film; “Risalo”, but I disagree that all that I have been through has been due to my choice. I have found, on many occasions here, that people assume you have some infinite store of wealth, for who would take a risk for something that lead to no academic credentials nor any guaranteed income when you can’t quite afford it?I remember Sadar sahib in Multan wanted to know my caste as several people have asked on this trip so badly. This isn’t quite the same as the major castes in Hinduism, but there are similarities. This “caste” tells people where your family is from and what, perhaps a hundred years ago they might have done as work. There are certainly social dynamics to it. He pestered me so much, that finally I told him, even though I despise all of that horse shit. His immediate response was, oh I have seen they (as in my “group”) have huge mansions around town. It was such an arbitrary load of nonsense. I could have said anything and he would have responded with that. We must define others by what we perceive as the infinite resources at their disposal. With certain privileges, they must not suffer any of the challenges that others do. That perhaps makes folks feel better at times. In a sense, I feel at times people are like screw this guy. He doesn’t have to be here. He could fly around the world while people threw more money at him for showing up. Ok, fantastic.That is easier to believe than the fact that some idiot would pack up and leave with his almost spent savings to try and create something. I’m not the only one to take on a challenge. People here that do the same don’t ask those questions or try to look for reasons to think you have a silver spoon in your mouth.There are things that are easier and many that are more difficult for me than the next person. It is just tiring to struggle and have people just tell you, even when you are not complaining about it, that you’re here for fun, or well, you wanted this so there. I see people with lots of challenges. I also see people owning homes. I don’t even have a place to live. When the musicians came to my room, they could not stand it for 15 minutes, and yet I am grateful for it, though I wonder how I will get through whatever number of days it will take me to finish here.In the evening, Najib sahib dropped by to visit. He saw how exhausted I was and kindly gave me a spot to sleep in his guest house. AC and fan, in a room less hot than my hostel room. What more could I ask for? I feel like these little wins are what help me keep going when I feel I can’t do any more.

Recording Sur Karaayal with Jamaluddin Faqir

Zuhaib

Zulfikar Ali Gopang

Ustad Anb Jogi

Abur Rahman Abroe

script discussions

Darya Khan

in front of Sindhology

(photos thanks to Saqib Syed)In the morning, I was up, writing a few more notes on the script so that I could give proper story based guidance for the emotions of each scene. That would reflect in the way it was sung and the way the instruments were played.One huge relief was that Saqib had kindly agreed to take my camera and photograph. Not only that, but he would go get some fresh bread and additional food to add to what we picked up the previous night. I know that directing the musicians is an all consuming task, and I am not even completely directing them. Ustad Anb Jogi is the one getting the group in gear musically. My job would be to closely follow the script as they sang, give story cues and make sure we recorded what I needed.Anb was supposed to come by at 9am. I was ready then called him. They were just waking up. I had his dholak. I told him to meet me there. I ate breakfast, as I had not been able to eat the night before. I just could not get myself to eat. I picked up my gear and his, then walked the fifteen minutes of sweat dripping heat to Sindhology to get things prepared. I met with Zulfikar Ali Gopang sahib, the audio engineer and friend I have worked with in the past. I sat down and expressed a number of my frustrations. We had a good conversation about it and it did make me feel somewhat better. He has recorded many musicians and knows most of them that way, so he has dealt with a lot of challenges.Jamaluddin Faqir sahib and his group arrived an hour early as they had planned to stop in to see Mehboob Ali Shah sahib, but he was out of the city, so they came straight to Sindhology. They brought in their gear as the audio folks were setting up. I went down to take care of the official paperwork and fees for use of the recording facilities. Saeed Mangi sahib helped me take care of all of that in proper fashion. It took a bit of time, then I grabbed some water bottles and was heading back when Saqib showed up. I had asked him to come by at 11am and not sooner, to not waste his time.I handed off the camera to him, setup my laptop and started working with Ustad Anb Jogi on the logistics of how we could most efficiently get the takes we needed. It was hours of intense concentration on my part, but also on the part of each musician, audio engineer and photographer in the room. Jamaluddin sahib had hand written the whole Sindhi script for Sur Karayal out in his notebook, which I thought was fantastic. Similarly, Abdur Rahman Abroe had written the entire Urdu Sur Karayal in Sindhi letters, so that he could more easily read it. I was much relieved by their preparations.I had divided up the script into more manageable chunks, where we could stop at major emotional shifts or convenient spots in the story. This would make it easier to tackle several pieces that I would have to edit together later. We worked on my short film Gul in the same way years ago and that seemed to work well.At the beginning of each section, I came closer to the singers and we double checked the starting and ending verses. Then we briefly talked about the basic feel of that scene, which Anb translated musically. Anb had on the spot changed the raag they were working in as they had chosen raag Sohni and we did not want two sections with the same raag. These are things that I would be helpless at trying to change without Ustad Anb Jogi and without the musical skill of everyone present in that room.After a Sindhi section was sung once or twice, Jamaluddin sahib stepped out for a moment and Abdur Rahman Abroe took his spot and tried to do something that worked similarly in Urdu. That is not an easy task, and he really stepped up to this at the last minute when we called him. Urdu is not his first language. He is far more comfortable with SIndhi, but he worked hard and consulted someone near him regarding the Urdu script, so there were only a few spots where we needed to help him, which is perfectly reasonable.There was a good bit of back and forth regarding what I needed, what they felt would be best musically and then trying to get each section in Sindhi and Urdu to be close in length. That is a big challenge and my job editing then mixing the music will be very challenging. It was a grueling process. It was hot and each of us was dripping sweat in the studio. At one point besides the water some angel sent us a crate of cold sodas. We took a few breaks here and there, but I was also under the gun to somehow get everything done within a reasonable time round about closing time for Sindhology, which is unfortunately around 2pm. I felt a lot of pressure balancing each of those things, but that is the nature of the work.The musicians did a fantastic job and I made sure they were well appreciated throughout. How else can you get through all these challenges? Thanks to all the help, I think we managed to balance things out well. Everyone seemed happy and no one seemed to be driven to frustration. We finished the work on time, then head downstairs for a few short video introductions for each musician. After that, we head to the hostel mess for some food.I was exhausted and so was everyone else. Saqib went to get fresh bread and some more food. I went in the kitchen and started heating up the food I picked up the night before. The room with the dishes and microwave was locked. It turned out the person with the key was away and unreachable. The one thing I had asked for was dishes. Another obstacle. I looked all over the kitchen and grabbed any plate, bowl container I could find. The burners are always on, so I washed all these random containers then heated up food.Daulat of the mess staff chipped in to help. Then Ustad Anb Jogi dropped in the kitchen to see how things were and jumped in to help heat up bread. Eventually a few more members of the mess staff helped us out and bit by bit we served up some hot food for everyone. We had only one glass, so I grabbed whatever glasses and dishes I had in the room, washed and served those. I had a bag of mangoes, so I cut those up and shared too. I think it all worked out well. Saqib came by with resupplies of bread and food. We managed to feed everyone properly, said our thank yous and goodbyes then head our separate ways.Saqib hung around to help me out and hang out a bit after before we head our separate ways to get some rest. I was glad he had a good time and was absolutely invaluable to making the day possible. Now to prepare for tomorrow, and get some rest. I hope we can somehow get through the longer piece in time. We are starting two hours earlier, so let’s see what we can do.I lay around for a few hours. Sleep did not come to me, but I felt better. At night Saqib came by and we chatted for a while. After he head home, I saw Zulfikar Ali Gopang sahib had called. I called him back and learned that a staff member at Sindhology had died of heat stroke so everyone there was going to the funeral. There have been a great deal of deaths all over Sindh due to this heat wave, a lack of electricity and water for many. I have heard numbers as high as 1,000 deaths across Sindh due to heat stroke. As difficult as my room can be due to heat, I’m not laboring out in the sun, or living on the sidewalk.I called Ustad Anb Jogi to inform all the musicians that the session was cancelled. I felt sad for the family of the man who died. We’ll reschedule the recording when the musicians are back in town after some performances they have.

Too hot for you?

With recording only a day away, I had a number of things to figure out. In Pakistan, during the month of Ramazan, while Muslims are fasting, restaurants tend to be closed in the day. Certainly different areas may vary, but I had about 12 people to feed for the next day at lunch. While singing and performing, these musicians would not be fasting, as you really need water.I asked around. Ordinarily the hard working staff of the hostel mess would gladly help me out and I could cover the cost of the extra meals, but they are on a rough schedule during this month where not only are many fasting, but they stay up much of the night prepping food for the early morning before sunrise, then for folks who are not fasting and then dinner at night. It has been very hot here. I read that over 200 people have died of heat stroke in Karachi, which is a few hours away. It is a bit less hot here, but not by much. So the mess staff could not provide food.Okay, that was one problem to figure out. In addition there were some details that came up regarding the state of the recording equipment. There would be no audio monitoring available. That one scares me a lot. Seriously, this is worse than a video game, with so many obstacles to each goal. It is exhausting and I constantly question whether I can go much further without some positive developments to help.Once it was evening, Ustad Anb Jogi, Abdul Rahman Abroe (who would sing in Urdu) and his father came by the hostel. I had offered that they could stay in the hostel room with me if they liked. They were tired. The Abroes had travelled a far distance to be there and Anb is perpetually busy.They walked in my room and were taken aback. Many people here seem to think I must have an endless supply of money and no matter how much I try to explain how much I am risking and sacrificing to try and make this project happen, it just falls on deaf ears. The room is the hottest in the hostel apparently, and not in a good way. The three of them looked pretty disappointed. Anb said there was no way they could stay here. I reminded him that I had been here for almost 3 months trying to save money to pay for this project and get back home afterwards.He made some calls and contacted Mehboob Ali Shah sahib, who among others, has helped me to understand sections of Shah Latif’s poetry more deeply. He graciously offered to put them up for the night. I mentioned that the roof was also a sleeping option, but they needed to go. My friend Saqib dropped by with some delicious kababs courtesy of his mom and we shared them.All of us rode over to the market in the society neighborhood as I needed to print some script pages for the next day. Then we head over to the phaatak (train tracks). It was on the way to Mehboob Ali Shah’s place and I needed to check if any places there would be be open for lunch. I asked one place and they said no. I really needed to figure out this food thing.So, we went to Mehboob Ali Shah’s home, and sat in his bhaituk (receiving room, sitting spot). There were a ton of things going through my brain, and I was really tired from trying to work out all the logistics. There were mats and pillows laid out for sleeping. Mehboob Ali Shah sahib came out. He is very busy, but as always was a very gracious host. He invited everyone to stay, and also have dinner. I needed to figure out some more things for the next day, so after a while, I excused myself and Saqib took me on his motorcycle to another restaurant by the rail road tracks. They too said they would not be open at lunch and that no one was. So, I did the only thing I could, which was to buy a bunch of food and bread for the musicians now. I figured I could put it in the fridge at the hostel kitchen, then heat it up and serve it. I was a bit worried about getting bread that way, as it would not be so nice reheated, but there was only so much I could do.As I was paying for the order, and about to leave, the same guy at the desk somehow just realized that they were open for pick up at lunch. I really do not understand these communication issues here. I mean, I was speaking in Urdu and Saqib spoke in Sindhi, so we had it all covered. So much stress and headache could be avoided. Anyway, that was good news. Anb wanted me to drop by Mehboob sahib’s place again, so I dragged poor Saqib back there, or rather I rode with him once again.We stopped in and the Abroes and Anb had decided that they would go back and stay at a hotel in Hyderabad. I gave them money for that. It was interesting how these musicians that I am trying to support through this project live far better than I do. It really hit home the irony of my own stupid desire to do this project and due to limitations, the need to rough it so badly here. These musicians work hard too, but they all seemed to have it quite a bit better than me in very relative terms. I think it would be oversimplifying to not acknowledge the many challenges based on education and access that they have, but it’s a bit ironic, that they could not stand my room for 15 minutes and insisted that they needed beds and a cooler, temperature wise, place. It still does not seem to occur to them just what it takes for me to pull together the funds to do this.Anb suggested adding several more instruments and I said no. There were already plenty, and I did not wish to overpower the imagery of the film or my budget, which I already was. Seriously, none of the musicians I spoke to seems to understand that. I am balancing things out by paying them properly, and sacrificing my own comfort and sanity, but I have some serious financial limitations too. Certainly I raised funds on kickstarter and added my own to it, but there’s no safety net here, which makes it hugely difficult, and none of these musicians could care less.Now I don’t mean that they need to express all kinds of personal concern, but to at least listen when I talk about budgetary constraints and challenges I face and if not that, at least do the rehearsal work that I’ve been begging them to do. The rehearsal consists of getting familiar with the script by reading it a couple of times a day. It is 11 pages or less depending on the chapter assigned to them. I think the musicians tomorrow have prepared, but a few others I am very worried about. Also, since the ones tomorrow decided not to work on the Urdu portion, I had to call in Abdur Rahman Abroe at the last minute. All of these things add up. They also requested that I add two more instruments on top of their party of six. Now, I also trust them musically, so that is important. I added the flute player, but nixed the keyboardist as I wanted to keep to more traditional instruments.So all of this was swimming in my head, as I got back to the hostel, thanked Saqib for really helping me out and went to my room to do some more work before sleeping. I kept waking up in the night due to heat. I would splash water on myself, which made the fan feel cool, then try to fall back asleep in the 15 or so minutes before the coolness wore off. I felt like if these two sessions did not work out, I might need to pull the plug on this project as it is taking too much on every level. Before that, of course, I was giving it everything I had to make it work.

Are you doing your MPHIL?

I woke up wondering what I would do to get through the day. At breakfast, I was asked a question that I am often asked here. “Are you studying?” and even more often than that, “Are you doing your MPHIL/PHD?” when I mention that I am researching Shah Latif. No. There is no academic, “I want some kind of degree out of this” portion of this research.To some extent, I really dislike academia. Teaching can be fantastic, and learning and studying things can also be great. That is a part of what I do anyway. Everyone asks me if my research on Shah Latif is in service of some PHD or MPHIL and they get very confused when I tell them that it has nothing to do with any of that. That concept seems foreign here. If you don’t plan on getting a degree, then why bother? For what could be more satisfying than researching a topic and writing in the most difficult to understand language possible to impress your fellow academics? Let us marvel at the quaint, archaic cultures dying in our midst and get some academic credibility while documenting its decline. That about ends my interest in that.I very much respect careful studies, that investigate and seek to bring about more knowledge on different subjects, but that bit of packaging it out of reach of the very people you are often discussing turns me off to the whole thing. I see a lot of posturing and inflated egos. Many of the people who have been helping me understand Latif’s poetry on a deeper level are not those who read it to obtain a degree. They are people from various backgrounds who took it upon themselves to study something for the passion of doing so. There’s nothing wrong with doing research to obtain a degree, but I think it need not just be for that.Other than thinking about that, I needed to find some greater purpose to being here. Since a degree wasn’t going to fit the bill on that, I went out and picked up a few kgs of mangoes.

Difficult days in the heat

Once again, I continued with the phonetic script. I have 3 out of 4 chapters completed. I’ll write a few more notes on it and print up these versions to be prepared for the recording session. I wish I did not have to be so on top of every little bit of the production, but I have noticed that when I am not, details are being omit from the script.

night at the hostel

These days are very difficult to get through. I’m having a hard time imagining another 3 weeks of this. Multan, where the puppeteers live is also very hot. It is tough to keep pushing forward when there has already been a lot of suffering, and there is plenty yet to go. At times like this, I am grateful that I finished the animatic long before this part of the process. With a good plan in place, you can focus on executing bits even when things are rough, but it can be hard to muster the energy to create from scratch in this state of mind.In the evening, I went to visit Javed, Faisal, Shahid and Abdullah. The evenings are not cool like they were a week ago. I still sweat at night and the breeze is all but gone. Even the roof was hot and there were mosquitoes or something biting my feet, so I came back, and just stayed up until I was tired enough to fall asleep, despite the heat.

Phonetic

my office

The heat was terrible. Lying in the room, I felt hot air blown around by the fan, stinging my eyes. Water, and showering every couple of hours is the only way I can think to get through these long, hot days.I’ve been listening to Mehboob Ali Shah sahib’s Sindhi recordings of the script and created a phonetic version of the Sindhi script in Urdu. The letters in Sindhi and Urdu vary as do their sounds, so this is a good, though laborious way, for me to follow along with the singers to make sure no words are skipped and that words are correctly pronounced. I’m making note of where each Sindhi verse falls in the audio file, so I that I can play back that bit as needed during the recording process to aid the musicians.

Prepare for Unpreparedness

Another night of staying up late trying to think of backup plans in case some of the musicians do not work out as I am recording music for “Risalo”. My internet wasn’t working and my phone balance was low too, so I walked through the oppressive heat to the society across the highway to add balance to both.It is very hot. I just checked and it is 104 degrees fahrenheit or 40 degrees celsius. No wonder I’m dripping with sweat out there. I picked up a few bags of fruit as well. I really need to take better advantage of mango season.

line of motorcycles in Hyderabad

weaving between huge trucks on a motorcycle.

Once I returned to the hostel, I checked in with Puran Bhatt regarding the puppets. I always appreciate his clear communication. He’s a very nice person, and on top of that he thinks through whatever input I have and shares his own ideas then helps by providing various solutions to problems. Today we were working on how to get our head losing puppet to effectively be a dancing puppet as well. Considering the challenge of communicating via phone and email to get all of this worked out, I have to say, I feel fortunate to be working with Puran Bhatt on this project.I caught up with my wife now that I had internet again. We each shared challenges and fun things about our crazy projects and journeys, both hoping we would join each other soon. Ustad Anb Jogi called me. Two groups of musicians wanted to record right away. I love how there’s all this waiting and all of a sudden when someone decides, it all needs to happen now. Okay great, I thought. I needed to make arrangements for recording. I was also deeply concerned whether one of the singers would work out. If it did not work out, I would be wasting a good deal of money and would need to prepare and record with someone else later. I did not have any options that were guaranteed to work out any better, just a potential backup if I needed to rerecord with someone else.I called two people I needed to reach to secure recording time and facilities. Neither phone was answered. I realized they were probably busy, but I needed to get on this, so once again, another trudge in the heat over to Sindhology. My recording engineer friend was out, so I walked over to Sayed Mangi sahib’s office. He had been in a meeting, and there were still more people waiting in his office to speak. He graciously gave me the permission I needed. I updated Anb Jogi on the phone. Sindhology was closed on the weekend (saturday and sunday). The musicians have been on me about recording before wednesday as there is a darga they will go to then, though the ones in a hurry had not done much in terms of rehearsal to make me feel confident. That caused some sleepless nights for me.After some water and tea, I head back to the hostel to work on some more logistical issues. There is a bunch of back and forth in this process of coordinating each person I need for these recording sessions. Finally, due to various conflicts in availability, we settled on two recording sessions. One would be on monday and the other on tuesday. I admit, I had to double check that mangal was indeed tuesday. Hey, I’ve got the words for thursday through sunday down, I just need to get monday through wednesday down. This is a funny problem that comes up at times with large numbers and days of the week.Ok, with that done, I went back out into the heat to run a few more errands in the society. I am definitely nervous about how the music will go, but I have done everything I can on my part and thankfully others are there to help as well.

Later, in the afternoon, I caught the University bus in to town to pick up DV tapes which is what the music and video will be recorded to. Once in the city, I was passing by Radio Pakistan, and dropped in to visit Ustad Anb Jogi. The poor guy was exhausted from performances the night before and all the travel he ends up doing. It was very hot out, and we were both drenched in sweat. He was clearly exhausted. He brought up the work we are doing regarding “Risalo” and there was friction on the part of the female singers and their family regarding my choice to give one of the chapters to another singer.I was more than willing to explain for the umpteenth time to them why I was not satisfied with the singer only just barely, and with mistakes, being able to read the first line of the script each time I went to visit them, before and after paying for rehearsals for them. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it is nonsense. I work very hard to prepare my end of things and make sure to provide all the guidance my collaborators might need. Generally I’m polite and understanding, but once I hit my threshold of nonsense, that’s it.After weeks of pleading and pushing for them to show me that they were prepared to do the work, without results, I had several sleepless nights figuring out alternatives. My mind felt much at ease after handing off that chapter to the other singer who actually appreciated the material. This drama leaves a lot of uncertainty as to whether the other singer is still on board to try, and even with her I am not convinced that she has prepared enough to do the work. It really bothers me that there has to be so much uncertainty, which leads to a lot of stress, despite giving ample time, explanation, resources and payment. I have a backup plan for that chapter as well, in case things don’t work out with this singer.Next, I went over to Haider Chowk and picked up a couple of packs of DV tapes for the hopefully upcoming recording sessions. If this was a typical audio studio, I would have a lot more to be stressed about. Being that it is a cultural institution that is really supportive of what I am doing, I have a lot more flexibility and less stress on that end. Imagine if I had to book time by the hour at a traditional audio studio and on top of that rely on the unpreparedness or possible cancellation of musicians then?My friend Saqib was working in the area, and I caught a ride back to Jamshoro with him. I sent out a script via courier to a singer to prepare the Urdu verses for a chapter as the musician I had given it to decided to just prepare Sindhi and ignore my request to prepare Urdu as well. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. The whole point is to get this poetry out to the world, and if I don’t have an Urdu version, that cuts out all the Urdu and Hindi speaking people who are illiterate all over South Asia. While that does not cover everyone, it does greatly expand the reach for this film. I don’t even mean that in a monetary sense, but even if it gets pirated and handed around, it will communicate to far more people. What point is there in making this film and not reaching greater parts of South Asia with it?

Long Road

I woke up and had a chat with Zulfikar Ali Gopang sahib, the recording engineer at the Institute of Sindhology. I discussed where I was in the process for recording music. He was excited about the choice of singers. I discussed the recording question that had come up, and I was correct that in the setup at Sindhology, the recording would be live, so you really could not record verse by verse along with all the instrumental accompaniment and cut it together. I knew this. It bothers me a great deal that I have to expend all this energy to explain this to the singer, just to convince her that she needs to prepare for this piece appropriately. They wanted to record in in two days. I refused. They are not ready. I need to hear another rehearsal and then set a date for next week at best to invite other musicians who will accompany and make arrangements to record at Sindhology. I have to second guess other people’s decisions and statements regarding all too many things. That’s not how I like to work, but for certain things, I can’t go by other people’s choices.Choosing the singers for example was not something I could leave to anyone else. Everyone wants to include their friend, who may be a decent singer, but is not the sound I want. These are not arbitrary decisions. The music is the soul of this film. I don’t take it lightly. I have to push back on any collaborators who just seem to want to push things forward without doing the necessary prep work. In the end, however it is all recorded, I am the one that has to edit and mix it all together, so I need to make sure that I get what I need to tell the story.After lunch, I needed to head into Hyderabad to meet Rashid Haideri, a classical singer whom I had seen perform at the Lal Shahbaz Qalandar Urs concert. He was in town recording, and had agreed to meet me around 3pm. I was walking down the street to grab a shared rickshaw to the bus, when a motorcycle stopped a ways in front of me. I looked at the rider, and tried to make out if it was someone I knew, but his face was mostly obscured by his helmet. As I got closer, I recognized Khalid sahib from the Foreign Faculty Hostel I stayed at up the street when I came to Jamshoro a few months ago and taught at Sindh University.He thought he recognized me and wanted to make sure. We caught up a bit. He asked where I was going and I told him Hyderabad. I did not know which part, as I would need to call Rashid sahib at 3pm to find out. He was going home in that direction, and graciously gave me a ride. I felt really humbled as he expressed his appreciation for my efforts in my work. I had given him a Jogi CD/DVD before leaving last time and he had enjoyed both since. All I can say, is that I am deeply grateful for such kindness and friendship. He happened to have an errand to run in the direction of where I figured I could hang around in Hyderabad until it was time to call, so we grabbed a juice. By then it was 3pm and I had Rashid sahib explain where he was to Khalid sahib. I would have taken a rickshaw, but he kindly insisted that he would take me, as it was in the direction he would head back to after his errand.My journey was made easier. At the end of it, I met Rashid Haideri at the Sindhi Hotel, by the side of the highway. It was nice to sit down and chat for a bit. He was recording some new songs for a Sindhi movie nearby. Regarding the process for that, I asked if he had been rehearsing the pieces for a while. He had been, and it was a process to get ready before coming to do these actual recordings. That is what it takes to do a new piece. I told him about “Risalo” and then specifically about the portion I had in mind for him if he was interested.He took the script and kissed it out of respect for Shah Latif. He shared that Latif was his spiritual guide or murshid. It was a great honor for him to take part in this. Truly it is a great honor for me to work with these great musicians. I shared my thoughts on how this section could be handled musically, and he added a few thoughts of his own and I was happy with where he saw the piece going. I requested that he take a look at the piece and mull it over, then let me know his interest in participating. He graciously said yes to the project right away and gave me a timeline of where he could give this piece the time needed, in a couple of weeks, which fit well enough into my own timeline. Afterwards, he took his leave to continue with his recording sessions for the Sindhi movie. I grabbed a soda at the dhaba, then called Anb Jogi to keep him apprised.Sur Kalyan/Sur Yaman Kalyan were being reassigned. The previous singer had read the first verse on the first day I handed her the script, when we met weeks later, she read the same verse with the same mistakes again. Then after I paid to have them rehearse, she read back the same verse with the same mistakes again, though I was assured she could do the whole piece when it came to recording, though reading a single verse was awkward right now, forget about the rest of that page or any other. I could not leave the opening to this film like that. I did want a female voice to sing this sur, but I can’t throw more of my budget into that fire.We’ll see what the singers say. I told Ustad Anb Jogi I would let her keep the advance for the singing for whatever practice she may have done, and then we would let the other female singer just focus on Sur Sohni. We’ll give it our best. Each piece of this film is important and so I have taken a lot of care in planning it. The animatic gave me a good sense of how the film would play. Once that was polished, I was ready for puppets and music. The puppets look quite good. There are variations in designs, but the key points from my drawings are there, which is pretty good considering it had to be done over the phone and email.With, hopefully a strong script and animatic, it is mainly about creating and recording each element required to bring it to life. If the music is weak, the words lose their value and that entire chunk of the film fails. Anb happened to be going to a music program with the female singers tonight so he agreed to talk to them and get back to me later today.I checked in with one of the other singers, and he let me know that he has been rehearsing the script and is ready to record. That is fantastic news. I asked if the Urdu version was prepared too. He said he could not sing it in Urdu, but the Sindhi verses were ready. This presents a challenge. It is best not to try and force him to sing in another language. I really want him on board for his Sindhi, so now I am working with Anb to get an additional singer who could work under his guidance on the day of the recording and handle the Urdu version with some guidance. Phew! So many pieces to this seemingly impossible whole, but if it can be pulled together, these are some fantastic singers.All of this coordination and needing to second guess people makes the work a lot more difficult. There are many other behind the scenes challenges and dramas occurring that I don’t really bother writing about in the blog. All in all, it makes for a very uphill battle to put this project together. So when Khalid sahib or other friends give me a word or two of encouragement, I can’t take credit for this work as if I am solely responsible as many good people are sharing their efforts, but I can certainly appreciate the kind words and actions of those around me that make it possible for me to even try.Now I need to go through the script and create a phonetic Urdu version of the Sindhi script so I can double check pronunciation during the recording. Say what? Yup.

Piles of it

In the morning, my first action was to wash out my groggy eyes and pick up a much needed bar of soap at the corner store. After cleaning off the filth from the day before, I decided to take it easy. Taking it easy means, lying down with the laptop, away from the scorching sun, and just working on the blog or other tasks. Since I had plans that would take me to Hyderabad the next day, I took the day to slow down a bit.Waqar head out for his train to Lahore, to find more stories to record. I continued working on some preparations to begin English translation work for the subtitles for “Risalo”. In the evening I went walking with a group of friends, ate some snacks and tea to congratulate Abdullah for getting admission into the mphil program he wanted, then head back to the hostel.I taught some wordpress to my friend Saqib, before making family calls. I was tired by around midnight, but I could not sleep. There are a lot of components to this project, and many to just the music aspect of it in itself. I had spoken to the female singers the day before, who had not done any prep work even after people were paid to rehearse them. I felt like Sur Kalyan, the opening chapter of the film needed to go to another singer I was scheduled to meet tomorrow. Sur Sohni needed to be sang by a woman, and being almost half the film, it was a big responsibility.I don’t feel comfortable giving the work to someone who has a hard time just reading the script several times. Not hard as in she is not able to read, but that it feels like unneeded effort. The singers and Anb Jogi looked at me like I was stupid for insisting that they needed to be prepared enough to sing entire chunks of the chapter at a time. They tried to convince me that even though reading the script was difficult now, they would magically sing it and could easily rerecord each verse as necessary. That would work if you are recording vocals separate in a sound booth, listening to harmonium on head phones, but that is not the setup at Sindhology.Having mixed and edited all the recordings I have done at Sindhology previously, I know what to expect. While each instrument and vocal is miked carefully to focus on that particular sound, all elements are recorded at once. The vocal track will have a slight harmonium sound in it etc. This works perfectly well for adjusting levels, but it is not good for splicing bits of the vocal track in and out, when the sound of instruments will continue to drone.Anyway, they thought I was being a pain about the whole thing, not understanding so I agreed to check with the audio engineer, Zulfikar Ali Gopang sahib. The whole thing is very worrisome though. While there is no way to know whether each of the other singers will do the necessary prep work, they at least are familiar with singing these verses. They each took the script and looked at it carefully, even sharing their knowledge regarding the pieces and how they are presented musically when we met. This one chapter, Sohni, on the other hand, worries me a great deal.I looked up a bunch of audio recording articles, to get a few perspectives on different workflows. This really is not stuff I should need to do, but after leaving them to rehearse and finding they achieved literally nothing, I have to be even more hands on with this process, which is hard to imagine. Eventually, I was tired enough that even stress could not keep me awake and I fell asleep at around 4am.

Fakeera

In the morning, I left to catch a bus to Tando Allayar. Waqar, the video journalist was coming back from some travels to Hala and Bhitshah and we were both going to meet in Tando Allayar to visit an amazing sculptor who lives there, named Fakeera. After waiting a while and asking several buses that came by, I found the right one and boarded. There was no place to sit and the aisle was particularly narrow, but I was glad to be on my way.Snack sellers hop aboard buses and walk down the aisles then hop off to find the next bus. There was one on this bus, and as he made his way to where I was at the back of the bus, I squeezed to the side to let him pass, but there really was not much room, particularly with his snacks. He started getting annoyed with me and elbowing my back as he squeezed past. I find my large, boots useful for all the nasty stuff I walk through during this work. They also came in handy just then. I told him not to elbow me then let me boots communicate the rest.The conductor decided he might be able to find a seat for me after all. This travel is no fun for anybody, and I try to be very polite to people, but there is an aggression at times for people to get through and they see you as just an obstacle. I see this a great deal on the road and at times like this on the bus, or when trying to get something in a “line”. Sometimes I feel like you do have to push back, while other times it is best to be patient. I walked over to the front, where there was a seat next to a man which he had placed his bags on. I motioned to the seat. He looked at me and asked where I was going, not moving an inch. I told him. He sat unmoved for a moment, then finally picked up his bags and put them in his lap. I did not say anything. I just stood there, not moving, until he slid over and gave me the seat.I sat down, and looked out the windows around me. Some bits were familiar from my trip back from Umerkot. The lovely intersection where the police stopped that bus and would not let it go for what seemed like forever, as other vehicles went past and other dusty, miserable memories.The man next to me, at one particular stop shared a complaint about how the bus was taking so long. He had been on the bus since early in the morning from Karachi, and it would be several more hours of suffering before he reached his destination. I nodded and expressed sympathy. Later when we past a town, I asked him which town it was. It was Tando Jaam, where some of the musicians I have met live. He told me that my destination was further as he became more friendly. I feel the same way during this travel. It gets to you. There are so many challenges and discomfort is too weak of a word for what you go through. That’s why people, including myself get angry and irritated. That’s where this guy was at mentally when I came over to request the seat next to him. Underneath it all, he was nice enough, just made miserable by the situation.

I thanked him once I reached my destination, then called Waqar. It was loud and we were trying to communicate where we were. After several minutes we realized that we were on either side of a Qing Qi. We hopped aboard and went over to Fakeera’s neighborhood. After asking around a bit and a few phone calls, we met one of his students who took us there.As soon as we walked in there was a gorgeous, larger than life Shiv statue. It was as yet unpainted, but absolutely beautiful. We met Fakeera and walked upstairs to his sitting area which had several busts and a full body sculpture of older residents from the neighborhood from some fifteen years ago. There was a lot of construction going on in the home, but as we had come from a ways, Fakeera made some time for us.

It was really great to sit down with him. He is an excellent artist as well as being very humble. We learned about some of his projects for different Hindu temples (mandirs) and churches around Pakistan. I had actually seen one of his pieces at the Rama Pir festival years ago when I came to Tando Allayar with Fatah sahib and his students from CEAD. In the mandir we visited that day was a sculpture of Rama Pir seated on a horse.

Fakeera’s father and grandfather had been sculptors before him. While the majority of his work came from mandirs and churches, he also received commissions and does gallery work. Part of the process is not only designing and creating a sculpture, but also designing the space around it. One of the recent commissions was from a family whose daughter had died. They wanted a life sized piece to remember her. He had put a great deal of care into each detail of her shoes, jeans etc.His pieces leave for their new homes once he finishes, so we were fortunate that there were a few unfinished pieces for us to enjoy. I really loved his piece of the Avtar Jhule Lal. I appreciated how he considers himself perhaps 55% of the way to getting to where he wants in his skill. He pours himself into his work, as he must feel what he wishes the piece to embody before he can create it. These days, he often works straight on the sculptures having created well over 300 pieces, instead of doing as many preliminary drawings.

With an interest in constantly learning, I asked if he had ever tried a piece of software called zBrush. He had, and was interested in learning more. I offered to teach the basics as it will open up new opportunities for him. I will put together some information and send it to him to get him going. After that, he will be able to take it further with tutorials. He is interested in showcasing the local culture in sculptural works and possibly translating that to animation. We talked about that and some of the work that I do as well.Waqar conducted a nice interview and recorded additional video footage of the sculptures. Fakeera sahib insisted that we stay for lunch. We ate and talked some more. I really did not want to leave, but there were other places we needed to be. I was glad to have gone through the trouble to get here.Waqar and I took a Qing Qi to the bus stand, then caught a bus to Hyderabad. Along the way I called Ustad Anb Jogi, who told me that the female singers I had been working with previously had called and asked that he come and see their progress. They had been practicing since that disappointing day. I agreed to give them a chance. It was not as if I had found other female singers to take on Sur Sohni. I had a few names, I was exploring, but as far as I knew, they would all need training as they did not normally sing this poetry. So what I really needed, was not just someone who was a skilled singer, as all of these potentials certainly were, but they needed to be interested in studying the work to do it.We got back to Hyderabad, then walked through some mango packing areas and across railway lines to get to the railway station. Waqar needed a ticket to Lahore. Each ticket counter attendant was equally unhelpful. They stared blankly as he asked them about tickets, then pointed at another counter, from which he was sent back to the first. Feeling frustrated, he considered taking the bus back to Karachi and trying from there. That is how annoying this whole process is. Eventually, we managed to get a seat for the next day. I gave him the hostel key, and sent him on his way to rest at the hostel.I sat down at a dhaba and grabbed a soda. Ustad Anb Jogi came and got me on his motorcycle and we went to visit the singers. I had them read through the script. The mother did not seem any better than before, but the daughter had spent some time reading the script and was able to get through it with what is a normal number of mistakes. The next step would be to get her singing it. Anb helped her sing the first few verses in Sindhi and Urdu. I explained the story as we went through the script, so she would know what was going on in the scenes for the correct emotions. It took a few hours, but I felt like this could at least be possible.We left and Anb dropped me at Hyder Chowk. I was going to catch the bus back from there. I was nasty with sweat and tired from an exhausting day, when my friend Abdul Majeed Soomro sahib walked up to me just as Anb was riding away. We went and picked up some things he had printed for a client from one of the local printers, then walked back to his office.He did some work, and I made some calls to musicians, now that I was in an office and could hear the phone. I made an appointment with one singer and scratched off another singer from the list of potentials. After he finished his work, Soomro sahib and I sat down and chatted for a while. He graciously offered to go out of his way and drop me back to Jamshoro. We rode back and stopped off for some food in the corner dhaba of the society area. It’s a big hang out spot, and whenever people go there, they are likely to run into friends.Saqib joined us and some more friends of Soomro sahib’s came and joined us. I was glad to eat and sit in the cool Jamshoro breeze. I was exhausted from the day. After a meal and conversation, Saqib dropped me back. Once again, the meal was paid for by a friend, who would not let me take care of the bill. People are very generous and I appreciate it a great deal.Stinky and gross, I fell asleep in the hostel, without enough energy to shower and become human again.

Talpur Tombs

I went to a photo exhibition at the Sindh Museum with Hisam. It had been arranged as part of a Hyderabad Photo Walk, where young folks visited different sites around the city and took photos. Participants submit photos and they were put on display. It was nice to see a creative and fun event like this. Some of my students from Sindh University were participants and it is always nice to see them too.Afterwards, Hisam and I went through a few neighborhoods and visited tombs of the Talpur kings who had ruled Sindh for a time during the Mughals’ reign in other parts. It was fun to see the remnants of these beautiful structures in the middle of neighborhoods I had been to before, but had missed.Afterwards we came back and I rested and prepared some materials to give to singers. I spent some time with friends down the street before dinner at the hostel and calling it a night.

Meeting Wazir Ali Shah

Each day I wake up and try to find purpose in a task that will help me get closer to accomplishing the work I came here to do. Some days I have plans in place and get to it. Other days, I am waiting for contacts or information, and have done all that I can think to do otherwise. Today was one of those mornings, where I did not know what to do. That is when the mind starts to pull you down. When you sit in the heat, far away from home, wondering how to inch forward after being defeated once again.I really wanted to work with Wazir Ali Shah sahib, who is an amazing singer. He has an intensity about his singing that seemed like the perfect match for Sur Sorath. After listening to countless recordings and watching a ton of videos of various musicians, there was no doubt that he was the singer I wanted for this story. He sang the verses of great Sindhi poets and even if you could not understand Sindhi, you felt it. For a couple of weeks I had been trying to get a hold of him. I called many times, and we managed to chat on a few of those occasions, but he was busy going to shows in various places or was unreachable.With a need to move things forward, all the more pronounced as I had been pushed back by a month due to some singers not working out, I called him. The phone kept ringing, or would come up busy. It occurred to me to give up, but I knew that this was the voice I wanted. Yes, I could choose from several other excellent singers who would do a great job, assuming they were interested in the project, but I’m not suffering through this process to make convenient choices without fully trying.So, I sat at my computer, working, goofing off on the internet and calling every 10 or 15 minutes.The day before he had mentioned that he might come for a show to Hyderabad at night and I waited for that call, and there was no answer when I called, so that did not happen. A few days before that he was going to a show in Karachi, and would pass my way, just as Jamaluddin Faqir sahib had. That did not happen and there was no contact then either. While part of me was unsure if he wanted to meet, when I did speak to him, he was always very nice and wanted to meet face to face rather than just have me mail the script to him.With persistence, I got a call back. He would be in Hyderabad in the evening to get his car fixed. This was my chance to see him. That gave me some purpose for the day. I had the materials I wished to hand him already prepared. At 4:30pm, I went to catch the University bus in to town as it is way more convenient than the public bus from the railway tracks (phaatak). I waited. No bus. I caught a shared rickshaw from the main road and banged my knee badly getting in, as no one ever moves, they just want you to squeeze in where it is least convenient and comfortable. In a good deal of pain, I reached the insanity that is the railway crossing. I limped across the dusty road between huge trucks, cars, motorcycles and all other manner of people that would gladly murder you with their vehicles rather than risk not shaving 2 seconds off their journey.I limped, then ran despite the pain to hop on a bus as it was leaving. The usual bumpy sweaty ride was slightly better on a Saturday with less passengers. After what seemed like forever, I got off in another busy market and took a rickshaw to Kadam Ga, where Wazir Ali Shah sahib was going to fix his car. After standing around for 20 minutes and playing phone tag, we met by the auto shop where his car was being worked on. It seemed more like he and his driver were working on the car, while perhaps someone in the shop was testing a few parts.It was loud and chaotic there. I recognized him from the videos I had been watching of his performances. It was great to finally meet, so that I could at least try my best to get the singer I really hoped for this story. He was very friendly, but also busy in the chaos. I sat down with him, then walked over to get some spare parts with him and then sat down again and waited. This is the process. Just be happy to be in the same place, then wait your turn and find your opening. I tried a few times, then pulled back from the project to more to general getting to know you type stuff as that was the vibe I was getting in the bits between his preoccupation.After a few hours, we went over for some tea at a dhaba. Along the way I enjoyed Shah sahib’s fascination with several carts selling random assortments of used items. He stopped to look at a few things and wondered along with me about what a few other items were. There were toys, a bicycle helmet, broken umbrella, hair rollers in leopard print and solid colors and so much more. He mentioned that he had been fascinated with street carts and the items they sold since he was barely tall enough to see over the edge of the cart. I appreciated that sense of wonder which I feel too. It occurred to me, that the most serious sounding singer, might take the most joy in the puppetry of this film.We sat down and ordered some tea and biscuits. I shared how I knew Ustad Anb Jogi and our previous collaborations. I pulled out the Jogi CD and shared the liner notes and talked about the project as a way to let him get to know what I was about. He liked the painting and was actually really appreciative of the effort and purpose. He talked about the art in all things around us, and I suppose the importance in being able to see that. A couple more of his friends joined us.He had purchased a new phone, and was curious about that and being a much respected singer, he was dealing with phone calls as well. The new phone had all kinds of new things to explore. Where I could, I interjected some information about the project, then backed off for a while and then broached the topic again, sharing some more bits of information. He shared photos of his 4 month old son, who was extremely cute with bluish eyes. Despite the challenges of sharing my project in that environment, I have learned to pick the main points that concern who you are talking to. Make sure they understand what you are doing, and what you need of them. Then if they are interested to know more, share. Some people want to know a lot more, others just want to know what you need. It can be hard to read people in this regards at times.We enjoyed a round of tea, and then discussed the work and the content of the story of Sorath as well as the challenges of singing it and importance of accuracy with pronunciation and not skipping words. He told me about his uncle, who before there was a radio station in Hyderabad, had sang Sur Sorath, and that his composition was the way that many sang it even today. He sang the first wai that I had included in my script to give me a taste of Sur Sorath, sung in raag Sorath based on his uncle’s composition.He had to go take care of some more car related details, so I sat with the friends who were some younger musicians that travelled with him. Their families were from Punjab prior to settling in Sindh before their own birth, so I spoke in Punjabi with one of them. I shared some of the main points about the need to read the script a few times every day to prepare, hoping that if everyone around Shah sahib was briefed it would be more likely to happen. We also talked about music and I asked for names of female singer recommendations, besides the 3 that were out of my budgetary reach.They came up with a name, that I added to my notes to research. Eventually Shah sahib returned, we had another round of tea and I handed off the materials, thanked him and parted ways. My friend Saqib was in Qasimabad with some friends in town whom he wanted me to meet in regards to “Risalo” as well. I hopped on a rickshaw and bumped along some horrendous roads and the great sewage lake. Seriously, this city would be amazing if the two parties that ran it cared.It took a while, but we got there, once again to the Khana Badosh Cafe; that writer’s spot I came to a few weeks prior, by the Sindh museum. I limped over to their table, and they were kind enough to ask about my project. I shared and there were a lot of questions and answers that helped us get a feel for how we both thought about and approached this material. Noor Junejo is a poet, novelist and singer as well, and his friend Master Wali is a singer, while Saqib is of course a talented graphic designer. They too were working on new musical collaborations based on Noor’s poetry as well as that of several other Sindhi poets.The whole conversation was really interesting. While I did talk a lot about my project and where I was coming from to start, I was glad to hear a lot about Noor’s writing and their collaborations as well. They are committed to raise people’s consciousness and make them think through their work. Of course I asked about female singers who could sing Shah Latif’s poetry in this conversation too and got another name that I had heard before and confirmation on the name Wazir Ali Shah sahib’s friends gave me as well. So I had two singers to research in Hyderabad and one in Karachi. I will try the two that are closer first. Conveniently, they are the ones that people recommend more strongly for this particular task. One of them is working on a collaboration with Noor and Wali, so I may meet with all of them tomorrow.Another bit of fortunate news for my project is that the fasting month of Ramazan is starting soon and the musicians have no shows at that time so that will help with scheduling. They may have other recording gigs, but there should be more room for recording for my project than in other months. I also spoke to Ustad Anb Jogi, got a few phone numbers throughout the day and am just seeing what I can do to get this music going. Saqib dropped me back and though I felt tired, I felt less helpless than when I started the day.

Visit to Sindhology

I took Waqar over to Sindhology. Besides visiting the museum, I needed to take photos of a book in the library there so that I could get some friends in other cities to see if they could find a copy to purchase. It is the first volume in a series of books by Agha Saleem, translating the verses of Shah Latif with Sindhi verses, followed by Urdu then English.It is interesting. Looking at the rest of the volumes, which I was able to find. If I had these books when I created the script in Urdu, it would have saved me the previous two months, and yet I feel the poetic form in which Shaikh Ayaz translated the text is more beautiful as poetry than the Urdu in this book, though he scraped away at so much of the depth of the original Sindhi. It is possible that if I read the Agha Saleem book in Urdu, I may not have jumped into this project as Shaikh Ayaz’s Urdu poetry is very beautiful.

I’m torn on this. In any case, both these translations are the fruits of incredible amounts of effort and time on the parts of all those involved in making them possible and for giving me a way to connect to Latif’s poetry, I am eternally grateful to them all.One of the challenges of libraries in Pakistan that I have been to, is that you can’t actually browse. There is a card catalogue, but essentially you need an author name or book title which you give to a library worker who goes back to some dark catacombs and eventually emerges with the book. This makes it impossible to know what treasures may be there. I prefer to go with a subject and then see what else is in that area of the stacks, but you just can’t do that here.

Anyway, I took photos of the book I was after, as I knew the title and author and then we walked over to the museum. I love walking around the museum. It is a rare institution that showcases a taste of several cultural scenes, handicrafts, historic artifacts as well as contemporary personalities and contributors to Sindhi culture.The rest of the day, I was researching online and making phone calls to try and get the music for “Risalo” back on track. The two female singers were a huge disappointment after wasting money on rehearsals for them. They could not even read the first few lines without skipping several words. They are literate and able to read, but lack the attention to detail or care for practice that is needed to make this work. Yet they are not lazy either. They spend much time and effort performing all over, which is grueling. I think it is more a reflection on their own process for the music they typically sing rather than a judgment on them. It still angers me to no end. So I have scrambled to find other possible singers.I am always a month away from finishing this task. My beard is rapidly going gray in spots. I feel strongly about abandoning this project and burning every shred of work put into it thus far, but then Saqib dropped by with some kheer his mom made, and I listened to old recordings by a singer that is practicing one section of the film and another that I am trying to line up a meeting to sing Sur Sorath and despite it all, I have a reason to continue on this.

The delays, disappointments and brick walls would be easier to deal with if I was not out in a desert town, away from wife and family, and without a job that I could at least feel secure in continuing to earn with. At some point, the accumulation of delays and issues will result in my having to abandon the project and return home to a job. I am prolonging that day as much as I can by living quite miserably, but if I can’t, despite my best efforts to move this train forward, then Shah Latif can rest in dusty books for another few centuries until another fool thinks to do something. Here’s hoping it doesn’t come to that.

How Stupid of Me

Bus to Hyderabad

Tambura sculpture in front of Radio Pakistan

I got up in the morning and head off to the bus for Hyderabad. It is a miserable experience each time. I am thankful for when I have at least enough room for my knees to not be in pain, wedged against a seat. Crammed in with sweaty people, you feel the sweat of the person next to you seep into your clothes and mingle with your own. It is even more wonderful than it sounds.After a bumpy ride, I hop out into filthy, traffic in the hot sun and make my way to whatever my destination may be that day. I eventually got to the radio station and Anb was nowhere to be found. He had asked me to come right at 1pm as he had a lot of other tasks and running around to do. He is an excellent musician, very much in demand, as well as supporting his extended family, whilst being completely illiterate. So when he says he needs to do a bunch of things, it is no exaggeration.I sat at the radio station and chatted with a tambura player I saw on stage at Lal Shahbaz Qalandar’s Urs musical program in Sewan a few days ago. I told him how much I appreciated his music and was amazed at how he stayed on stage almost the entire night and into the morning playing. Most of the musicians switched out with other folks who played their instrument after a while, and even that was an incredible and grueling amount of performance, but not him. He stayed, except he said for a few short bathroom breaks.He told me about how the current radio station was built during General Ayub’s time and how he had been there since. He had long ago retired, but they still called him for shows and to perform at the station with a myriad of fantastic musicians that came through on any given day. He was very grateful to still be walking on his own two feet, and to be able to perform. It was very nice to chat with him.Anb Jogi had a few tasks to take care of at the radio station, and after a few hours we head out to see the female singers he had been helping to rehearse these past couple of weeks. We were hoping to record in the coming week, and I knew that I needed to check on their progress before hiring additional musicians and setting a date for recording.I felt really grateful that Anb had been coming by and training them, despite all that he was busy with. We sat down in the little bhaituk in the front of the home in what is sort of a musicians neighborhood here, as there are many that live in the area I am told. The singers were mother and daughter. The mother came out and joined us. I asked her to sing the first two verses, Sindhi, then Urdu. It was pretty clear that she had not spent any time rehearsing or even reading the script. Ustad Anb Jogi, was feeding her lines so to speak, by singing them himself so that she could try and match him in her own voice and key.They reassured me that she had not rehearsed much as they had focused more so on the daughter who would be singing a larger piece. The piece the mother was working on, could possibly be worked out as it would be sung without instruments, so there was more room for editing it together. She still needed to rehearse, as I couldn’t direct her and keep reminding her not to skip words or mispronounce them from the script that she was looking at while she sang. I was not impressed, but as long as the more difficult piece was in a better state with the daughter, this could be addressed, with a good deal of work.The mother left and I talked to Anb a bit about my concerns. He reassured me that the daughter had rehearsed a lot more. Eventually she joined us. I asked her to sing the first two verses. I did not think of this as a test. The point was just to get a feel for what they were doing, and then share some of the breakdown of sections to sing so that they did not have to sing the whole thing in one go. Then I could emphasize the emotional cues of each section and that would help her to tighten the piece up a bit more, followed by a few more rehearsals and then recording.How stupid of me.She stumbled through reading the lines. It was not a matter of the mother or daughter not being able to read. It was simply that when you are reading poetry for the first time aloud, you make mistakes. If you read it over and over once or twice a day with a bit of concentration, and listen to the audio references I took the time to record, you can smooth out any challenging parts and get the hang of it. This is what Anb and I had emphasized. They did not need to figure out how to sing the lines, as Anb would feed them that. We just needed them to get comfortable with the words and memorize them to a degree.It was clear that despite whatever “rehearsals” she may have done, she had not taken time to read the script. This was hugely disappointing. It is important to respect the people you are collaborating with. When you go on and on about whatever project it is that you want them to do, it is important to think of their financial needs and pay them some money up front before they begin rehearsals. It is also important to provide materials that can make it as easy as possible to understand the task and focus on their art.This was done, and it was not easy to do. To not bother to read the script they have had for weeks was just too much. How can you rehearse? What do you rehearse without learning the words? These things are out of my control. I do not tend to be heavy handed in micro managing people. I prefer to give them the tools they need and let let them work unfettered. Then I can check in and see how things are going. They failed miserably and I let her know. At times, it seems as if people just figure you are some fool throwing money around like it is confetti and that is how you are treated.I think also that preparation for new tasks is something that some people do and many could not be bothered. For me, prepping work is the real work. I take great pains to prepare and plan work, but that only helps if the people you work with do that as well.This was another low point, just as I was so hopeful to make some progress. All is not lost of course, but this is a challenging set back. I may have to find male singers to sing these parts as there are only 3 women I know of that sing Shah Latif’s poetry and they are way out of the budget of this effort. I wanted to balance the female and male singers in the piece. Particularly, I want Sur Sohni to be sung by a woman, but I can only do so much.There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind today regarding how I feel about this nonsense rehearsal business, but I am not sure it will make a difference. Anb suggested giving them a few more days to try again. I think the real issue is that this process of rehearsing language and taking pains to get it right is foreign to them. To anyone who sings this poetry or any challenging poetry this is perhaps at the core of their work, besides training the vocals. These two singers are good at singing, but this challenge is not something I can force them to step up to.I headed out. Anb tried to reassure me, not to worry. I don’t care to make him feel bad. He is trying, but I also have to call bullshit, just as I did when some of the puppeteers I was meeting, really were not puppeteers, but distant relatives who clearly knew nothing of the art.As important as it is to give people the direction they need to help them do their best work, it is also necessary to make a decision and move on when you clearly have not made the best choice for a particular role.I visited some friends, grabbed the first bit of food I had time to eat for the day, and then took the nasty bus ride back. Waqar, from Zoomin.tv was waiting for me. He travels around Pakistan, recording stories he finds interesting for this channel in the Netherlands. Haider Ali in Karachi suggested that he check out this project I am working on and so he had come all the way from Karachi. I set aside whatever crummy feeling I had for the day and tried to make sure I didn’t make this nice guy who had come to learn about what I was doing feel unappreciated. I know how challenging it is to travel around to strange places and try to work with new people at every step.We hung out, I shared about the project, showed some art work and puppet photos and recorded a short interview. I appreciate the effort that goes into trying to put a small piece together. Afterwards we grabbed some food in the Mess. The staff had made lunch for me, but I was not there, so instead of ordering two meals, we shared lunch and dinner for dinner. It was very good. These are the unsung heroes of this Teacher’s Hostel. We had delicious fish, and separate dish of lentils and karelai.We hung out some more, and then I invited my friend Saqib Syd by as I have been teaching him what wordpress basics I know. I still have to figure the music stuff out, but it was nice to do some positive things.

Smokey Quarters

Woke up to a smokey room today. Someone had decided to burn a trash heap downstairs from my room. I shut all the windows, then got ready and head out to Sindhology to work from there. There does not seem to be any trash pick up service here in Jamshoro, so people just burn heaps of trash.I had to do quite a bit of note writing related to the script and how it would be recorded musically. It is my job to guide the musicians in terms of timing, story and emotions as I did for my short film “Gul”, to best fit the film. They of course bring their musical expertise in expressing those things through their music.I worked out of the Sindhology audio archives for a few hours, then returned to the hostel, had some lunch, and continued.